I have never shared my story with anyone.
I am 33 years old. When I was just 25, I found myself struggling with a major depressive episode. It was during this time that I found out I was pregnant. I was taking the pill, but was very careless about it; I just was not in a good state to take care of myself.
I had no health insurance, wasn’t married, and wasn’t working at the time; through Planned Parenthood I was able to confirm that I was pregnant and discuss the options available to me. I knew immediately that I was in no condition to carry a baby to term, much less be a mother. I was struggling with too many psychological and emotional problems at that time, and motherhood would have been the worst thing for me and a baby.
I scheduled an appointment with an abortion provider, and my boyfriend at the time took me. It was a very smooth experience, everyone at the clinic was very nice to me, especially the doctor and anesthesiologist, who I believe sensed my nervousness (they must be so used to it). I remember asking my Dr. as I was on the table why he did what he did (performed abortions) and he answered, “Because I believe every woman has the absolute right to choose when to become a mother.”
When I woke up, I was in a room full of other women coming out of their anesthesia as well. I look back and laugh because the woman next to me kept saying “Victoria, Victoria, are you all right? Do you need anything, honey?” which was so nurturing and loving, even though she had just gone through the same thing I did!
I got dressed and went about my day without any negative side effects; I got my life together, and am pleased to report that I am now a mother of a beautiful, beautiful boy. I love him more than anything, and he loves me too. Looking back, I know now more than ever that I made the right decision to have an abortion. There is just no way that I could have handled my depression and a baby – I would have been a horrible mother, and who knows what would have happened, I might have been abusive or negligent because of my depression.
I am so glad I nurtured myself to health first, because my depression is behind me and I am a great, loving mother to my precious son. I am extremely grateful to have had reproductive “choice,” and access to a clinic full of wonderful and caring staff.
Thank you for reading my story.
