I found this website so tremendously useful to me. I spent days reading all the stories and it helped me to feel less alone and less frightened about ending a pregnancy.
I had an abortion days ago and I feel so releived. It was the right choice for me. I have been in a wonderful relationship for 5 years. My boyfriend and I plan to get married and have kids but when I found out I was pregnant I knew in my heart it was not the right time and I was not prepared. I had always thought that when I did become pregnant it would be after being married and it would be a joyful experience.
Being 31 years old and pregnant by the man I plan to marry made the decision extremely difficult. I have been on the pill for years but got careless the past two months. It was an extremely emotional time for my boyfriend and I, but having a baby now did not bring us joy that I know it should bring. Even though I’ve always supported a woman’s right to choose, I never expected it would be a choice I would make.
I chose the surgical abortion and I and my boyfriend went early to the clinic. There were a couple of protesters but they were not threatening. I was at the clinic for a total of 3 hours and most of that was just waiting with the other woman to get the procedure done. Sitting there waiting with the other women helped to calm my nerves because I was not alone. There were so many women waiting in blue gowns that we looked like a production line.
When it was finally my turn, I was taken to a room by a nurse and asked to lie down on the table. It was then, as I lay on the table that fear hit me. At that moment I felt completely alone and I knew it would take courage to do this. I closed my eyes to calm myself, as the anesthesiologist and doctor came in, he tugged on my finger and treated me with kindness. It was at that moment, when the nurse was placing my legs on the stirrups that all the fear, anxiety, confusion, and the human factor hit me and I began to sob uncontrollably. I remember the doctor asking me if I was a career girl and then saying that he knew it was hard to be there. His words gave me so much comfort and in a strange way, some sort of protection. While I cried and as I closed my eyes, the last sound I remember hearing before becoming sedated was the sound of my racing heartbeat.
I woke up in the recovery room a bit groggy but relived I was okay. I had some cramping and a light period but I was mostly emotionally exhausted. The next day I went to work feeling normal with no cramping or bleeding. Although this was an extremely hard time, the choice I made was the right choice and I feel no regrets about it.
Thank you for letting me share my story.
