I never thought I would have an abortion. I really wanted kids. I managed to get pregnant a few years ago and the miscarriage that followed made me terrified to try again anytime soon.
I was in the military and all of the other females I knew stopped having our periods.
A few months after I was home I had a light period a couple of weeks ago, but I never felt my cycle return. I had been very in tune with my body, years of fertility monitoring.
I was unable to find a job for months after military separation. Suddenly I had employers calling me, but I became very ill and had to cancel my interviews. I was one step away from homelessness since I had been out of work so long. I felt so horrible all day and night, so nauseated and nothing helped. My man suggested I take a pregnancy test, I told him it was too early to tell since I recently had my period. I mostly lay in bed all day hoping I would feel better, for days. The test was positive.
I inquired at crisis pregnancy centers. If someone would have offered me a place to live and pay for my medical care I would have had the baby, but there was no way in Hell I would give up my child for adoption if I had it. I did not qualify for any welfare either.
I had no one to support me, being pregnant would have led to me being homeless and perhaps dead due to how severe my nausea was.
I thought I was only a few weeks pregnant so I tried to call Planned Parenthood and ask about the abortion pill. For 2 days no one answered the phone and they were supposed to be open! So I called some other clinic.
I managed to make it out of the house and to my appointment. Some old man was standing outside with pamphlets, he didn’t even look at me. He was harassing some Mexican teenager who was there with her mom, instead. She started crying “I don’t wanna kill my baby,” so pathetic. The dumb boyfriend was there too, angry at the mom for bringing her daughter there.
The clinic staff for the most part were rude stupid girls not older than 20. They acted like they hated their jobs, seriously, could they not have found more professional staff in this economy? I just wanted my damn pill so I could put this disaster all behind me. If I had any strength in me I would have slapped the sonographer and the dumb girl trying to take my vitals, so stupid. The doctor was a joke too. No wonder the Pro Lifers are so successful, look at their opposition!
She said I was 7 weeks pregnant, that meant I was pregnant before my last period? Somehow I doubted her assessment, but who knows. That would explain why the pregnancy test was able to be positive so quickly.
After much stupidity I was finally given my pill. Mind you, the girls accidentally dumped it onto the counter several times before it was finally given to me. My boyfriend cried as soon as we exited and got into the car. That made my heart break. I told him I was sorry but we had no choice. He agreed that it was a cruel world we were in, he cursed the military again, blamed them for our situation. I wish I never left the military; they are the only way to secure employment these days. If I hadn’t listened to him and stayed in the military, I would have the best medical care and good housing for our child. And he is the one who refuses to wear condoms because they make him go soft.
The morning before I took my final pills at home I vomited up my antibiotics, I had to try very hard not to throw up my abortion pills that caused the uterine contractions. This was likely due to the awful morning sickness I had for the past week, not the pill.
A few hours later I had some cramps, then about a spoonful of clear bloody discharge. Shortly after that two small clots, one of them seemed to have a tiny speck in it. I was like “is that it? Seriously, is THAT it? Just a tiny speck in two small clots?” For a few hours I had painful cramps, like contractions. I stayed home in bed, little blood came out, just very uncomfortable.
I had light bleeding afterwards for a few days, not much blood or discharge at all. The next day I felt better, but not the same. I was able to go out and try to resume my employment. I felt I had a second chance at life. I can’t imagine myself having sex again, I don’t want to go through this again. I am scared to get pregnant again in fear I will be so sick like I was.
When I go back for my follow-up, I will likely rip the clinic girls a new one if they so much as look at me funny, now I have my strength back.
