Hello my name is Tash and I am 17 years old; I just had an abortion 3 days ago. This is my story.
I met my boyfriend in the city, being a country girl I was drawn to his maturity and personality, he let me hear everything I wanted to hear, and I quickly fell in “love” and ran away from home (a small town) to the big city.
Soon things started getting more complicated, his other children were involved with the CAS and alcoholism quickly took over. I at the tender age of 17 and he a grown man of 28, led me to believe that this was normal!
Things started getting worse and worse with verbal abuse … that led to hair pulling, then slapping, then beating and finally he almost killed me on the couch by strangling me. He had total control over me.
When CAS denied my boyfriend his children, he began saying things to me like ” I’m going to have a family one way or another” and then would hide my birth control pills on me, telling me that it’s ok, lots of young people have babies and that we would have beautiful kids (which was true, we would have had beautiful children).
It wasn’t until a couple weeks after my cycle when he failed to get me pregnant he would say to me “our relationship is to unstable I don’t want kids any more” at that point I agreed, I never wanted a kid right now in the first place! He made love to me twice after that and would yell and scream and get drunk and stupid. I finally got on the phone to my estranged family, crying and begging to come home. He was drunk and got agitated, so the police were involved. I left that night and when I came home my parents were so happy to see me, my brothers missed me so much! It was after I was home I had my boyfriend charged for my assault.
Not even a week after I left him, my period was due. I waited about 5 days and there was nothing. I went to the drug store and got 2 tests. Both were positive. I immediately made the decision that I was not ready for a child. Two weeks later I booked the abortion. Ever since I had it done I feel like my life is coming together again, I feel more wholesome, and I feel less empty. I feel sad that I may have wasted a life, but then I think back and now I know I didn’t. I was only 9.5 weeks pregnant. Knowing that the baby would have been half his and he had rights to it, he would be in my life forever. For that reason, to spare my child from ever knowing their father, and to spare myself from a life of disappointment and lack of success, not accomplishing my dreams, I AM NOT SORRY.
I never thought I could start to feel happy again… but now the real me is shining through. No one deserves what I went through, but everyone deserves a little bit of light at the end of their tunnel.
