I am not a person who comes to mind when one thinks of abortion. I am married, happily, am financially secure and college educated.
None of these facts mattered when I saw a positive pregnancy test. My husband and I attempted to make peace with the pregnancy; we assumed a jovial role and conformed to acceptable norms. But in our home, and within one another’s arms, we felt no joy.
The lack of joy soon turned to feeling of impending doom and tears. We did not want a baby. Neither of us felt that a child would provide fulfillment and sense of purpose in our lives. We already possessed those things. The idea of raising a child, choosing schools, setting rules and guiding growth seemed nothing more than a jail sentence with no parole. We are so thankful to live in a country where we had a choice. We did not see a baby’s rights as more important than my own. I am more than a vessel of reproduction.
We made an appointment at Planned Parenthood. We chose a surgical abortion and made an appointment for the procedure. I was scared of the possible pain, the unfamiliar doctor and the after effects on my body. My fears were unfounded as the experience felt little more than an annual pap smear and was over in less than 5 minutes. I was given shots to be numbed but they were slight pricks and nothing more. I felt pressure but no pain and I chatted with the doctor and her assistants throughout the procedure. In the week following I bled for a total of six days and had no cramping that could not be managed with Aleve.
But those 5 minutes have given me my future back. I am happier today, with my abortion only weeks behind me, than I have ever been. I am more thankful for my life, my marriage and my freedom of choice. I am not sorry.
