In May of 2005, I met a man at a bar and went home with him. We used a condom, but it ended up falling off. Three days later, I had a first date with another man (who later became my boyfriend). We did not use contraception, but he did pull out prior to ejaculating.
Several weeks later, I went on vacation with my mother. She was teasing me about being pregnant, and to this day, claims she knew before I did. On the last night of our vacation, I took a pregnancy test. It immediately turned positive. I burst into tears. While I was initially excited to be pregnant, the reality set in that I had no idea who the father was. Scenes of bad daytime television flashed through my head, and I realized that I could not stand 9 months pregnant with a child who had an unknown father.
I told my boyfriend that I would be terminating, and I also tracked down the one night stand and let him know the situation. Both offered me money for the procedure, but I couldn’t take it. I knew that I had gotten myself into this situation, and needed to take care of it myself.
I went to a local Planned Parenthood, and I was surprised, but relieved to not encounter protesters. The APRN performed a vaginal ultrasound, and told me that the clump of cells was 8mm in size, and that hopefully, the abortion would work out okay due to how early along I was.
While at the clinic, I was given pills to take orally, and also given some to insert into my vagina the next day. I was prepared to be sick, and to be in excruciating pain. But I wasn’t. I took some ibuprofen, and I was fine. When I went back to the clinic a week later (I think it was a week give or take a few days) they repeated the vaginal ultrasound, and all was clear.
When I had my abortion, I was 26. I have always been pro-choice, but never thought that I would be able to go through with an abortion, personally. I am now 29 years old, and have been married to an amazing man for 8 months. I have also been clean and sober for 13 months. Being sober is the most important part of my life right now, and I feel that with my sobriety and my husband, I am ready to be a parent. Had I not aborted three years ago, my life would not be what it is today. And because of that, I’m not sorry!!
