My name is Sarah, I am 26 years old and have been happily married for the last five years. Over the years we had mentioned not really desiring kids and eventually got more into the subject about a year ago when more and more people were asking. We moved to a rural communitiy in British Columbia about two years ago and everyone our age is having babies and starting families. We like our friends and their babies and children but like to go away afterwards to our quiet life. It was becoming more and more clear that it was not the lifestyle for us. It has been a bit difficult as it the choice has alienated us in a way, especially me, as it seems that Moms are friends with Moms (and its seemed to be impossible to meet people without children in our farm-based area) and to them I’ll never have something that I deem “baby cred”. But I have always followed my own path and so has my partner. We are a stable couple and many people just don’t understand why we don’t feel the need to have children.
All that aside, I got pregnant two and a half months ago. My partner and I had been using the rhythm method for as long as we had been together as I feel that I know my own body well enough. Well, I guess I didn’t; Mother Nature pulled a fast one on us. It is really interesting too because two local aqcuaintances also became pregnant at the exact same time; I suppose the fertility comes in waves. I have experience with herbal medicine and tried to use herbs to induce a natural miscarriage but it did not work. I made my appointment and had to wait for three weeks before the procedure. It was a difficult time as I just wanted to put some closure to the situation and my partner was very supportive saying that it was my choice and he would support me either way. Although he knew exactly what I would do, he’s a great guy for making me feel so free to choose. I do not feel any guilt or regret as I knew it was the right choice. Our lifestyle will continue to have the space for our art and music and also to pursue our careers and more schooling.
I am not a child-hater or feel that parents do not have one of the most important jobs around, they do. I also feel that not everyone is meant to procreate. There are many niches in society that need to be filled by a diverse range of people. Having children should be a very important lifestyle choice, one not to take lightly.
I am happy to live in a time and place where I have the freedom and right to create the life I see best for myself. That in itself is a blessing for which I am grateful for every day.
