I have been pregnant twice but I don’t have any kids. I am not sorry. I am glad I had the choice. If I had either child I wouldn’t be where I am today. The first one was when I was 31, never been pregnant before and my boyfriend at the time convinced me to get off birth control because it’s bad for me. I was pregnant within a month and a half after getting off them. We were breaking up and it was after the break up that I found out. It wasn’t the most pleasant experience of course, with all the hormones coursing though my body but it was the right one.
The second time was a little over a month ago. I understand though that it had to happen. I wouldn’t be taking the care of myself that I am today if it hadn’t happened. It also made me realize how special and important my life and what I’m doing with it is. I felt it was sad being 33 and being pregnant, I mean wouldn’t most women go ahead and keep it? I wasn’t other women though, I am me, and I have so much going for me that it wouldn’t be fair to me or the child to have had it.
I decided after the abortion to get an IUD inserted. I can’t seem to remember to take a pill every night and I don’t like unnecessary hormones in my body, so it seems like the best option. I’m not even seeing anyone but I am not going through that again. I want to decide to have children, not have a pregnancy decide for me, and now I am prepared to be in a happy, healthy relationship, not one where I am worried all the time if I am pregnant. I am in control of my body and have many options and choices.
I am not sorry. I love myself very much and believe that things happen for a reason. I was taught an important lesson in both relationships and in life. I am grateful to have a choice.
