Rather than having hostile groups and individuals define me, allow me to introduce myself. I am a mother – I have a daughter and a son. I am a wife – I have been married for 14 years to a truly wonderful man. I am a native Texan, 3rd generation both sides, and the great granddaughter of a Texas rancher. I am a feminist (and I don’t blanch or squirm when I say that). I am an environmentalist. I attend the Episcopal Church, and attend every sports event my children are involved with (including driving for two hours just to get to a football, soccer, or basketball game). And I had an abortion in Mexico in 1970 when I was 20 years old. I had to go to Mexico. Medically, I had no other choices. I am not going to say the facilities were primitive, because they weren’t, but they certainly were not state-of-the-art for 1970. I could not talk with the only two people in the clinic – the doctor and his assistant – because I could not speak Spanish. I contracted an infection because of the procedure, but it was better than sticking a coat hanger into my uterus and hoping for the best.
I do not mourn for an unborn child. I do feel sorrow for having so little self-esteem that I wasted my precious time and energy on an emotionally abusive relationship. I did not want to have a child from that relationship (and he certainly was not interested in being a father). I did not then, nor do I now, feel it was my responsibility to carry that pregnancy to term. Further, with all the new information out about genetics and their role in personality development, I’m relieved that there is no lingering output from that relationship.
I would caution women now in college that it was not until 1972 that married women had the right to receive birth control without the consent of their husband. I would caution young women that when you no longer control your reproductive life, you have lost control of your entire life. And I would quote Joni Mitchell, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?”
I had an abortion. I am not sorry.
