Nicole’s Story

I had an abortion in November of 2007. Getting pregnant was a stupid mistake. My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex after a few weeks of using condoms. I took the Plan B pill and hoped for the best, but a few weeks later I was late with my period, and something felt wrong. I told my boyfriend, and asked his opinion on abortion. He told me he would support whatever decision was right for me.

I took a home pregnancy test and it came up positive. I took a second test at my local Planned Parenthood which confirmed my pregnancy. They asked me how I wanted to proceed with the pregnancy, and I chose termination. I have no desire to have children – ever. I cannot afford a child, nor do I think I have the capacity to raise one in a functional environment. I discussed it with my boyfriend, and he offered to pay the $500 + for the procedure. I gave him some money, but he paid the majority of it.

There were a few weeks between discovering I was pregnant and the abortion appointment. During those few weeks, I felt just awful. I had a few days of morning sickness, and lots of abdominal and breast pain. I was also very unhappy to be in the situation. Yes, I made a mistake by getting pregnant in the first place, but damn if I would make a second mistake by keeping a baby that neither I nor my boyfriend actually wanted.

The day arrived, and my boyfriend drove me to the clinic. There were two protestors at the entrance of the parking lot, and they wrote down my license plate number. I gave them the finger as we drove past. They were two old men – certainly not in any position to judge a young pregnant female. After all, they never have and never will experience the fright of an unwanted pregnancy.

The waiting room was very somber. There were women of all races and ages, some accompanied by men, others by female friends. No one spoke above a whisper, and several women were in tears. I felt trepidation at that point, but thankfully the waiting room was the worst part of the whole experience.

They ushered us in small groups to watch an instructional video of the procedure. After that, they did sonograms and took blood samples. Once I started interacting with the staff, I was put at ease. All the staff members up to that point were female. They were all very friendly yet professional, and got me to relax with small-talk and jokes.

The procedure was very quick – at least, it seemed to be. I was given an I.V. that caused amnesia (and made me feel pretty good during the procedure as well). All I can remember of the actual procedure was the doctor talking to me before he began, then some minor hallucinations while staring at the light above the table. The next thing I knew, I was in a wheelchair being taken to a room with other women in reclining chairs. At some point before that, I was given the Depo shot, but I have no memory of that either. They sat me down in a chair and gave me a blanket. I regained my senses, got dressed and met my boyfriend in the waiting room.

I cannot describe just how wonderful I felt immediately after the abortion. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I was very uncomfortable and even in pain during my few weeks of pregnancy. The day I had the abortion, I felt like a million dollars, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was as if everything had been set right in my world.

I told my older sister about the whole ordeal. She was not the support I thought she would be. She told me the horrors of her two abortions, how terrible her boyfriends were, how mean the protestors were, and how someday I’ll look at a child and think “My baby would have been that old”. Then again, I don’t think she fully comprehends how much worse her life would have been if she kept either one of those pregnancies. I realize how much worse my life would be with a child, and in turn, how bad that child’s life would be. I’ve made my decision, and I’m not sorry.