I am now 34 and pregnant with what will be my first child. I have had three previous abortions.
I was educated in a Catholic affiliated private high school after attending public grade school. In 7th grade a mandatory class we had to take was a “lifestyles” course. This class, had a rather intensive 6-week class about sex, birth control methods, abortion (truth not pro-life spin!), pregnancy and birth, and sexually transmitted diseases. At the age of 12-13 I knew that I was going to wait until I was 18 to have sex and could get birth control without my parents knowing. I also knew, after the pregnancy information provided that I would have an abortion if I ever became pregnant and wasn’t ready for a child. I did not, nor do not, consider a fetus or embryo a child until it can live outside of the womb on it’s own. Plus the class showed us pictures of a developing fetus and what a pig and turtle fetus look like at the same stages of development, they looked pretty much the same. A 6-week fetus is not the ‘perfect little human being look-a-like’ that pro-lifers want you to believe.
The first time I was pregnant was 19. I had been in college for a year on an academic scholarship. I was on the birth control pill. But I was one of the lucky statistical failures. The second time I was pregnant I had dropped out from college, I was 23, was partying too hard, drinking too much, and had no direction in life. The second time I was not taking the birth control pill correctly. The third time I was pregnant I was in graduate school, 25 years old, finishing up my degree, and just recently married. I had gone off birth control pills since I saw my husband once every two months for a couple of days and we decided to use the rhythm/condom method. Well that didn’t work. My husband was across the country from my college, we had one income for two apartments, and there was no way we could afford a kid. Plus I knew how hard it would be for me to get a job after graduation when I told prospective employers, “And by the way, I’m 4 months pregnant, so I’m only going to be able to work for about 4-5 months before I need a leave of absence.”
I had surgical abortions for all three. I was not on anesthesia, just a localized pain blocker. I remember the nurses at Planned Parenthood being very supportive and non-judgemental when I went in for a pregnancy test, and asking what I wanted to do, and providing information on options, including adoption, abortion, and birth. I remember the security, the row of protesters, who I yelled back at “If you want me to have this kid so badly, then why don’t YOU adopt it?” I remember the waiting room, the other women there, and the cookies and juice. Do I remember much of the procedures? No. I knew what to expect, and the doctor explained the procedure each time. I remember some cramping, not bad, and some minor bleeding. I also remember the vast feeling of relief I had after each procedure.
Would I be where I am now? No. Do I regret my decision? Never. Do I ever think “what if, how old would they be?” Nope. I have no second thoughts, no regrets and no depression over my decision. Why? I knew it was the right decision for me, and that at those periods in my life I was too immature to have a child to take care of.
Thank you to the women before that fought the battle so I was able to have control over my reproductive life. And one thing I would like to say to pro-lifers (especially the Nazis), “If you feel so strongly about it, put your money where your mouth is and adopt an unwanted child. A child should be wanted and not a punishment.”
