Nadia’s Story

In April 2007 I had a surgical abortion when I was ten weeks pregnant. I had just finished my MA, was working on an exciting fellowship and was about to start my PhD in the fall. I didn’t think at the time that my boyfriend and I were ready for the responsibility of having a child. The abortion procedure was a horrible experience for me physically and emotionally. I felt little support from the people around me. Up until the last minute that it was performed I was unsure about what exactly was going to happen to me and how I would react. Until the day of my due date in November I mourned the loss of my pregnancy. I was constantly thinking about what my life would have been like had a made a different decision. I constantly questioned myself and my ability to become pregnant again. After my due date passed I finally I realized that I felt okay with my abortion and that I could move on with my life. I forgave myself. At the end of November I found out that I was pregnant again. This was another lesson that birth control pills do not work for me. Today I went to a clinic to have a surgical abortion but after being there for three hours, I decided that I cannot go through with this again. By the time my baby is due in August this year I will have finished a year of my PhD. I know that this baby will be an enormous change in my life but I know that I can make it happen. I do not regret the first abortion that I had and am grateful that I was given another chance, but I do not want to do this to myself again.