Monique’s Story

I was 22, single, and I had an abortion.

I was with my boyfriend for 4 months, and everything was going swimmingly. We were having sex a few weeks after we started dating, and never had the talk about contraception. He assumed that I was on the pill; I assumed that I couldn’t get pregnant. Looking back, it was an incredibly stupid and naïve thing to think, but after numerous “close calls” over previous years, my period was always on time. I just thought that I wasn’t able to have children, and I was okay with that.

Not that it matters, but we were in love and even talking about me moving back to his country with him to live together. We found out that his work visa was no longer valid, and he had to leave the country unexpectedly. We broke up, and he was gone. I was absolutely heartbroken, but I went to stay with my family and thought that I would get over it.

I didn’t think much of the lack of appetite or that my period was late – I was under an incredible amount of stress and had just had a very nasty cold. When the morning sickness came, I knew it was time to take a test. Sure enough, it was positive, and I was alone. I told no one for 2 days, weighing my options, but knowing in my heart that there was really only one solution for me personally. I wanted to have an abortion. I spent an entire day doing research online, looking up various clinics and reading the stories of women who had been through the experience. I felt safe and confident that my decision was made.

I contacted my ex-boyfriend via email, and he was anything but interested in my situation. I was nervous telling my older sister, since I knew she was trying to get pregnant herself, but she was incredibly supportive. She suggested that I have the abortion in the city where she lives just in case I needed any support physically or emotionally. I called the clinic, and booked my appointment.

Two weeks later, I was at the clinic with my sister, checking in. I didn’t expect to see so many men in the waiting room. It was both strange and wonderful that they were there to support these women’s choices. I filled out the paperwork, and waited until I was called in to talk to the counselor. She was warm and professional, and very thorough. I then went to the next waiting area, took my anti-anxiety drugs, and had the ultrasound. After a few more minutes waiting, a nurse came and took me personally to the operating room. She was kind and helpful, and I was given the anaesthetic. I barely remember the procedure, and was shocked at how quick and relatively painless it was. I went to the recovery area, where I had juice and cookies, and my sister came to check on me. I was almost fine, and wasn’t upset or in any discomfort. I couldn’t believe that the whole ordeal was over in under 3 hours.

I got dressed, and went for lunch with my sister. I had minimal bleeding and no complications. I thought that I was going to be very emotional afterwards, but the most overwhelming feeling that I had was gratitude. I was thankful for the staff, for the facility, and for the choice that I was free to make for myself.

I am anything but sorry.