Monica’s Story

I’ve always been pro-choice, and I always figured that if I was young and not ready and I got pregnant, I would just get an abortion. For me, there was no other choice. But there was no way I’d get pregnant, because who does that really happen to?

My period was always irregular, I never knew if it was going to come at the beginning, middle, or end of the month, and yes, sometimes I’d skip a month. I never kept really good track of it. I’m 18 and It was literally one week ago that I found out I was pregnant. I had just returned from a trip visiting one of my best friends and I was expecting my period to come. What really made me think that I was pregnant was that my stomach had lost some of its definition; it looked like I had a little pudge. Me being so anal about my body, I would notice the littlest thing. I had had been dieting and exercising a lot, and I knew that I had lost weight too, so It made me freak out. Then I started thinking, and I couldn’t remember if I had a period at all last month! I ran to Meijers and bought a home pregnancy test, and you can guess the result.

I couldn’t believe it; I NEVER thought it would happen to me. I was really pregnant, and I couldn’t just take a pill to make it go away. I went to my boyfriend’s house that night and I told him and cried. I even thought that if I ever were to get pregnant, I wouldn’t tell my boyfriend, I would just take care of it alone. I already felt SO alone with him by my side.

So we went to Planned Parenthood the next day, and got a test confirmation. I told them I didn’t know if I had a period or not in July, but I definitely had one in May. (It was the 1st of August when I went.) I told them I wanted the medication abortion, because I was SO afraid of surgery. They said they would schedule me an ultra sound appointment. I knew that even if I had missed 2 periods, my last period was less than 11 weeks ago, meaning I had to be less than that. But still something inside of me made me think that I was much farther along, and I begged them to get me an appointment the next day.

I came in for my ultrasound the next day, scared as hell. They started to do one vaginally, but quickly said I was farther along so they could do an abdomen one. I started crying. They told me that I was almost 17 weeks. I was hysterical. I was 17 weeks and showed no symptoms. I don’t remember any morning sickness, breast tenderness, frequent urination, breasts swollen or anything, I had been loosing weight too all while I was pregnant. How in the hell could I be 17 weeks pregnant? I soon found out that you could have a period when you’re pregnant, which made me so angry. I remembered my boyfriend and I having unprotected sex months ago, and I missed the grace period where I would be able to use ECP. I decided I would wait for my period to see what happens. I got my period, but it turned out, that was the one period that wouldn’t count.

That was by far the worse day for me ever. Everything went so fast. They scheduled me 2 appointments right after that for my surgery, gave me a discreet work excuse, and told me it was going to be much more expensive. $825. They told me to get as much money as I could in 2 days. I left the clinic and went straight to my work. I came in bawling, and asked to talk to my manager. I handed him a note and said, “I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want anyone to know about it, they have to do surgery on me because they found a cyst on my ovary.” He told me it was ok and not to worry.

I went back to work the next day before my surgery. I felt a little better. I felt really pregnant, but I knew no one could tell. My boyfriend couldn’t even tell. The next day at the clinic I had to get osmotic dilators put in. There was a lot of waiting, but I got to talk to a counselor first. She told me they would insert these dilators in my cervix that were made out of seaweed. I would keep them in all night and they would dilate my cervix. She said they would make me have really bad cramps, and to take ibuprofen. She told me I probably wouldn’t be able to get much sleep. They put the dilators in me, and yeah, it was pretty uncomfortable. They numbed my cervix a little bit, and the liquid really burned. I felt yucky all day, but the cramping was really minor. I took medicine and I slept just fine. I worried since I didn’t have bad cramping that they didn’t work.

The next morning was surgery. I was really nervous. I wanted to wait as long as possible. My boyfriend had come with me for both appointments. I had to wait in this room forever with an IV attached to me. The worst part was that the lady had to poke me in both arms and then like 5 more times to finally get a vein. Finally I went into the surgery room. I was going to have IV sedation, so I would be awake the whole time. They made it sound like I would still feel great pain. The main thing I remember about surgery is them asking me if I wanted more medicine and I said yes. It made me feel really good. And then after that a lady kept yelling at me “breathe! Monica, breathe!” I was totally breathing and I felt perfectly fine. She kept screaming at me, and I kept trying to breath harder, but she still yelled. I guess the extra medicine lowed my oxygen. And then it was over before I knew it.

The surgery was yesterday. I felt better immediately. I feel great today and I’m going back to work tomorrow even though I have an excuse for 2 more days. Every thing they told me about the surgery sounded worse than how it really was. I still have a lot of money I have to pay back, which is going to be really hard since I’m starting school in a few weeks, but its something I have to deal with. My boyfriend and I are doing wonderful, and I’m so glad I found this site the day before my surgery. I hope this story will help other girls. I’m not sorry.