Mila’s Story

I’m a 22 year-old nursing student that had an abortion yesterday.

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years, married for 3. I had never been pregnant before as we have always been extremely cautious about birth control. I will admit that we had become a bit lax lately, mostly the result of our crazy schedules. My entire life was a whirlwind of studying, so for a couple of months I didn’t have time to make it to my doctor’s office to renew my birth control prescription. When I finally went to the doctor, she required a pregnancy test and it turned out negative. I filled my prescription that day and started the pill regimen again. My husband and I had unprotected sex after about 2-3 weeks and afterward, I knew I was not fully protected but didn’t worry about it as we had never had any real scares before. (That is so ridiculous- I cringed as I wrote it). After the pack was done, I waited a week for my period to come to no avail. I had been paranoid over the years and had a spare pregnancy test in the drawer and decided to take it just to ease my mind. It didn’t take 20 seconds for 2 pink lines to appear and I freaked out, Googling pictures that looked identical to mine exclaiming, “Beautiful positive!” Um, no. This was anything but beautiful.

I went to the doctor and they confirmed it. It didn’t seem real, even as I made my appointment at Planned Parenthood for a termination. I didn’t have any discernable symptoms, except maybe for a little fatigue that I blamed school for. The thought of going through with the pregnancy never even plagued me. This was already the worst possible time for this to happen- during finals week at the end of my first semester of the BSN program. I wasn’t even sure if I ever wanted kids, but definitely not in my early twenties. Plus, I had gotten extremely wasted to the point of insanity one night fairly recently and was sure that anything I was carrying was not in good shape.

I had to wait an entire week for my appointment, which was tortuous. But the good news is that waiting, in my experience, was the worst part of the whole thing. The Planned Parenthood clinic I went to did not resemble anything I expected. It was a very upscale building with potted plants all over the place. I thought we were in the wrong area until I saw a group of nervous girls/women and some of their significant others waiting outside the door. There were no protesters.

I recommend getting an appointment for the earliest possible time because the waiting room filled capacity within 1 hour of us being there, and that was on a Thursday. I was second in line so I was out by 2 p.m. or so. I was called back for the sonogram and the nurse was lovely. We talked the whole time and she told me I was 8.5 weeks so I was eligible for the surgical or medical procedure. I chose surgical because I heard it was quick and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. I saw the embryo on the screen and it looked like a kidney bean. Honestly, I just felt like it was violating me and I wanted it out. I met with a counselor and gave blood and then had to wait for about 2 ½ hours for the actual procedure. That was the worst part because I was starving the whole time and starting to gnaw on my husband’s finger.

They finally called me back for the procedure and the room was small and music was softly playing; the suction machine was covered with a pink gown. It was the opposite of scary. The nurse explained everything to me, but my heart was still beating out of my chest. My clinic did not offer full anesthesia so I got the Fentanyl/Versed sedation, which I highly recommend because it works as soon as it gets into your vein and it wore off for me after about 30 minutes. I didn’t feel pain, it was just uncomfortable for 2-3 minutes. The nurse talked to me the whole time and I just concentrated on breathing. It was very tolerable and over in a snap. I even had to get the Rh shot and I’m taking their word for that because I didn’t even feel it.

In the recovery room I relaxed in the cushy chair with a big flowery heating pad for minor cramps and then I got to eat some peanut butter crackers and drink some Sprite. I was a little loopy for a few minutes and I remember laughing because I was so happy I was no longer pregnant. I think euphoria sums it up nicely. After we left the clinic my husband got me PF Chang’s, we went home and I took a shower, ate, and slept for like 5 hours because I was so tired from not getting any sleep the night before (nervousness). I bled enough for one pad a couple hours after we got home, but it was so nice to see that again after not having my period for a couple of months. After I woke up and got dressed we went country dancing with some friends and stayed out until 2 a.m. I felt fabulous, even more so today. I feel like myself again, like I have my life back. I’m definitely not sorry and no woman who finds herself in a position like mine should be, either.