Margaret’s Story

When someone asks me why I don’t have kids – a frequent and often annoying question during the past 25 years of my life – I tell them that I choose not to, and that I’ve had three abortions. I counter their presumptuous questions (all women are suppose to crave having babies)- with this startling real fact. Because they need to see who has abortions. Women like me. Women who have boyfriends, enjoy sex, enjoy their relationships, enjoy their lives. I cannot even begin to explain why I did not feel right continuing an unwanted pregnancy. The first two times was following a year of grieving my mother’s death, with a man who was himself experiencing pain, loss and terror around becoming a parent. The last time was in my 30’s trying to create a life for myself in New York City. The reasons were myriad and complex: economic, emotional and physical. The choice, however, was very clear and simple. I made the decision and feel fortunate to have lived in a time and place that allowed me to act on my decision.