I had an abortion four days ago. When I got pregnant, I did not realize that I was pregnant for quite a while. It was not that I was on birth control or was not sexually active it just plain and simple did not come to my mind. I did not experience morning sickness until I found I was around my eighth week, and I believed that my late period was due in part to a new medication I was taking for hypothyroidism. (Loss of menstruation can occur if too much thyroid hormone is in the bloodstream). When I first began to feel nauseous in the morning, I thought “Oh great.” And sure enough, a home pregnancy test confirmed my suspicions. I began to cry, not because I wanted the child, or did not want the child, and not because I was confused about what I would do and what choices I would make. I knew exactly what I would do if I ever became pregnant, I would abort. However, I felt ashamed that I had put myself in the position where I could become pregnant. I felt dirty and disgusting knowing that growing inside me was this little parasite waiting to come into the world and make my life miserable.
I worried about what I would do and what I would say, who I would tell. I decided that only my fiancé needed to know. He and I agreed instantaneously that an abortion was the correct decision since neither of us ever wants to have children. We are both college students who have purchased a house, and work all the time and neither of us are willing to make the amount of sacrifice needed to care for a child. He felt guilty about putting me through such an emotionally challenging situation, but he was very sweet and loving, and treated me like a queen while we awaited the most dreaded appointment.
I did my research on the abortion procedure, and stumbled upon this website. I have to say that these stories helped lessen my own anxieties, however, my experience with the actual procedure was different from the stories I had read for comfort. My fiancé took me to my appointment (he was the only man there) and also insisted on paying for the procedure. There are of course the obvious things, the paperwork, the waiting, urine sample, the blood draw, the constant fear of being bombarded by needles. I was unfortunate enough to have the nurse in training, which compounded my fears, and after my finger was pricked to determine my blood type, I passed out while having my blood pressure taken and woke up to worried faces telling me I’d had a seizure. Hmm, I’ve never had one of those before. My tongue hurt like I had bitten it, as people may do when they have seizures, and I felt embarrassed, since one of the other patients had been in the same room. After they were sure I was not going to have another seizure, I was made to wait yet again in the waiting room.
The doctor waltzed in approximately three hours after my appointment time, looking as though he had played nine holes of golf. I found him to be very cold and uncaring, and I did not even know his name until I saw it on my prescription bottle. I was supposed to receive IV sedation, in which a continuous flow of a relaxant is introduced into the body. However, I received only one shot of valium or something similar. I found the procedure to be extremely painful, although it thankfully lasted no more than 7 minutes. The cramps were terrible at first, but did subside very quickly. The bleeding I’ve experienced is very minimal as well. I was prescribed Motrin 800 for pain however it has only been used once. I was back to work the next day, and I felt like my normal self again.
The abortion was an eye-opener, and made me realize that I must work harder to prevent a pregnancy in the future. We have been given the choice to continue on with our lives when an unplanned pregnancy occurs, and we should not feel guilty or selfish, for wanted what is best for ourselves. Although I wish that I did not need an abortion, I am certainly not sorry that I did have one, and although I found it painful, for all of you debating an abortion because of the pain, think of how terrible labor and child-birth would hurt.
