Lex’s Story

I had an abortion yesterday. I found out three weeks ago yesterday that I was pregnant and the last three weeks has been some of the most difficult days of my life. The clinic insisted that I wait until I was 7 weeks along before they would do the procedure and I was only slightly over 4 when I figured it out.

Here’s my story. I became unexpectedly pregnant at 21 by a very unstable man who I knew very little. With my parents support, I decided to keep the baby anyway. This boy has been the highlight of my life and is now 11 years old. It was rough being a single mom but I did return to university to finish my degree and went on to have a fairly successful career in order to support him. A couple of years ago I met a fantastic man with a now 6 year old daughter and she has become the daughter I never had. He opened my eyes to the things that I had missed in life because I became a mom at such a young age. I really had nothing outside of my son that made me happy. My career was pretty boring and I had not time for hobbies. A couple of months ago we decided to get married and being that his business is doing quite well and my income is not really needed, we decided that I would stay home with the kids for the summer and then possibly pursue another career path in the fall, or as he put it “find my passion”. Something that would finally be for me. It was finally going to be my time!

I figure I became pregnant almost right around our wedding date. I had been using the rhythm method for years and I thought I was quite good at it. Maybe it was because I was so happy (ironically) but something went wrong that month and I became pregnant. Even though everything about it made logical sense (I was happily married, financially stable, etc.) none of it made sense in my head. This was supposed to be the first time in my life that I could finally be selfish and this pregnancy would delay this dream by at least 5 years until the child was in school. I knew what I had to do and my husband fully supported me.

The hardest part was the horrible morning sickness that consumed me for the 3 weeks leading up to the abortion and the worst part of that was that I couldn’t even tell anybody! I wish this didn’t have such a stigma around it all. Reading the stories on this site brought me such comfort. Thank you everyone for sharing! I don’t know that I could have gone through the procedure without it. I actually don’t recall any part of the procedure as the drugs they gave me knocked me out pretty good. I bled a bit after and had a few cramps but I woke up this morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. Luckily I had them insert an IUD during the procedure so hopefully I will never have to deal with a situation like this again. Finally I’m taking control of my life and doing something for me. Here I come world!