My first abortion took place when I was a 20 year-old college student. I had been dating my first love for a little over a year when we found out I was pregnant. As a pretty serious drug addict I knew a baby was something I did not want or need in that time in my life. It was my first relationship and although my boyfriend and I really loved each other and knew we wanted to be together our only choice was to terminate the pregnancy. The only thing I’m sorry about is that my addiction and denial resulted in a pregnancy that was in its 19th week. My boyfriend went with me to the clinic and assisted me as I walked by screaming protesters – the worst part of the entire situation in my opinion.
The procedure itself took two days. The first day was spent enduring incredible cramping pains and a night of fitful sleep. The second day was the completion of the procedure. I did end up marrying that boyfriend and we were together for nearly 15 years. While separated from my husband and in an awful period of my life I chose, poorly, to have unprotected sex for only the second time in my life…again resulting in an unwanted, poorly timed pregnancy. I realized within the month and took care of it as soon as I was able. That was last year, and again the worst part was the walk through the clinic doors, past the protesters with the posters screaming bible verses and insults at me, as I went to accomplish something that was not an easy thing to do, but something that should only be my choice for me to make with my body.
Getting pregnant was a mistake that I never wanted to go through again, but even responsible adults mess up more than once. I have never and will never use abortion as birth control, but knowing that I still have a choice of when I will become pregnant is as important to me in my thirties as it was in my early twenties. The first procedure was 16 years ago and I have not regretted either of my decisions to terminate. I know that if I ever do choose to have a child it will be when I am willing and able to be a complete and competent parent. Knowing that I was given a choice is something that I will always appreciate and the idea that taking future women’s choices away saddens me. I know the stories of the times before Roe vs. Wade, and I wish that people of the current generations could understand that abolishing constitutional rights will not result in complete eradication of medical procedures. There will always be abortions and as a woman I feel that it is important to ensure that they remain safe, clean procedures. We do not need to go back to the days of back alley abortions or forcing young girls into a life of premature parenthood because of one poor choice. I am not sorry.
