I got pregnant right after my 17th birthday. I never thought it would happen to me. I am a straight “A” student. Have plans for college and even have plans to run a marathon next year. Stupidly, I thought because of these things pregnancy wouldn’t happen. But it did. I was shocked. My mother just had twins and now I was pregnant. I was very confused but I did know I wasn’t ready to have children.
When my period didn’t come I braved up to buy a pregnancy test. Of course right when you’re trying to do something “uncomfortable” that’s when someone you know is right there. A fellow National Honors Society student was there watching me. I had a choice to a) just slyly get a bag of candy or b) just screw the world it’s my life kind of move and buy the test. I choose the latter. I took the test shaking…It came out positive. I couldn’t believe it. I told my boyfriend who was in the other room. He starred and I walked outside.
A week or two later my boyfriend and I choose to tell his mother on our one year anniversary “thingy” (bad timing…right). Sitting in a crowded restaurant and with him a nervous wreck and me a very tired girl we set out on our journey. My boyfriend said to me before we told anyone that he supported me and wanted me to do what I thought was right. (I took that to heart.) When his mother heard the news she was downright “joyful”. My boyfriend was shocked. I was afraid of what I was going to have to tell her. I told her that I was not able to have the baby. She asked my why I said “Well, I have specific things that I want and right now a baby is not one of them.” She wasn’t happy but she said she would still be supportive of my decision.
As I planned and researched places to go to my boyfriend began to change his mind. I knew that would happen after he heard his mother’s feelings. We continued to talk about our options and it became clearer to me that I wasn’t ready and that he wanted to have a baby. I talked to his mother about everything who ironically said she wouldn’t want to be in my position but would love me to keep the baby. I was very adamant on having an abortion.
The first abortion clinic I went to was to just get an ultrasound. I wasn’t sure of how far along I was. The experience was surreal. The ever so polite women on the phone said to watch out for protesters. I thought I understood the ridicule I would have to endure just to get an ultrasound but I didn’t. The people out side had Bibles, pamphlets and jaded statistics about abortions. I walked the catwalk to the door daring the protesters to test me. When I got in the clinic the room was filled with young and old couples who were in the same predicament as me. I wasn’t alone…I got my ultrasound and planned my abortions in two weeks just after Christmas. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go back to that specific place because of financial reasons. I found another place closer but more expensive. I figured I would have better care.
Now January I had my appointment told my mother I was going somewhere with my boyfriend’s family and was ready. Got up at 5:30am, nothing in the stomach, and my iPod on hand my boyfriend, his mother and I went to the clinic. It was a very difficult and stressful situation but I got through it. After the abortion my boyfriend wasn’t happy. He said I was being selfish I told him this wasn’t just for me this was for him too. I’m writing this the day after my abortion. Yes, I’m another “naughty” statistic but I’m a happy “naughty” statistic. I have no idea what this will bring me in 20 years. But it has brought me relief. No regrets. I heard something yesterday and I will follow it the rest of my life “To thine ownself be true”. Don’t be afraid. Do it for you.
