Some time ago, in a rather quaint bathroom stall I found out I was pregnant. Four to five boxes of tests later (apparently if you take the test over and over for 2 hours or so, the answer does NOT change any) I had called my fiancé and broken the news. He was unbelievably supportive about it, and right away we knew what had to be done. I would have to get an abortion.
I’ve never had any problems with abortion – in this modern time women should have the right to choose their lives over that of social standards. It is not that selfish a thing to do, either. It’s not only best for the mother and father…but it’s best for the child. It would be terribly cruel and unfair to do otherwise. But I was still terrified.
Planned Parenthood was horrible in attaining an appointment for me. I was still attending school and I was dependant upon my fiancé for a car ride. Which meant it was some weeks before they could schedule me for a pre-exam. In this time I became horribly sick. Throwing up morning noon and night…fevers and bloating – it was HORRIBLE! This only served to better secure my resolve.
When the time for the appointment came, my fiancé had a friend drive us so he could spend the entire time there for me. If I have any suggestions for anyone who will be getting this procedure…it’s to have someone there for you. Be it a family member, friend or lover…it makes all the difference.
I was terrified once I got in there, and the loads of paperwork they give you doesn’t help any! When it was time that they called my name to go in I dragged myself towards the door, towing my fiancé close behind me. “He can’t come in”, the staff member said reluctantly. At that point I made a mess of my makeup and had a panic attack on their most likely unhygienic (and dirty) carpet. To my surprise, the lady melted and made an exception to allow him with me, realizing how strong a support he was for me. I was even more so glad that he had come with me, as he was able to communicate and negotiate for me when I was unable to think clearly. He helped distract me when they took my blood and even waited outside the room when I had to get my pelvic exam. This was horrible as well. I’m pretty sure I scared the lady doctor though…as I was sure to mention in a grave voice “I’ve been throwing up for weeks. I’m tired. And my foot is right next to your head. Screw up and guess where it’s going?” Looking back the pre-exam wasn’t too bad, even though the pelvic exam *did* hurt. I don’t know if it is because of any lack of skill on her part or due to my own size and tightness, but the exam was a little more than “uncomfortable” like you read about.
Six days later, I got into a car at 7 in the morning and drove off for the abortion. As we polled in there were a few protesters on the sidewalk-all looking rather pitiful. I half wondered if they had jobs or families to attend to. Cheerfully I concluded that this was their hobby, since they were most likely unqualified to do anything else other then hold up pieces of paper and shout profanities while trying to preach “the good word”.
Planned Parenthood had placed a bouncer at the mouth of the parking lot, but it was some old feeble woman. Seeing that did not make me feel very secure. I doubt she could hold off an upset toddler, let alone a swarm of angry zealots. A few shouted at my lover and I, and we couldn’t resist laughing. The laughing fit outside of the center really helped as we entered the waiting room. Everyone I had seen in there were by themselves, only one other person had a companion with them, and they looked rather cross with the situation. This was fun and awkward but it got worse following this. After 20 minutes of receiving the best comforting from my fiancé they finally conned me past the doors-where I had to leave him looking worried and sad. The counselor was wonderful, very heartfelt and even laughed at my cheesy attempts at humor. However, when they finally got me into the room where the procedure was to be done… the professional behavior of the staff seemed to change instantly. Suddenly I was the butt of every joke and had some number on my forehead. Sitting on the table in my love’s t shirt, neon green leg warmer and a paper jacket I watched two people enter. One, a balding portly man who looked like someone canceled his favorite TV show, and a younger nurse who seemed far too infatuated with the quality of her nails than anything else.
To my shock, the male doctor was unbelievably rude, worse then the protesters! He would say things like “You shouldn’t even be here”, “Just go home already” “You look weak and frail you cant handle this”. And things of that sort the entire time! At this point I was disgusted enough with his behavior to tell him rather colorfully to shut up and do his job like I’m paying him to. He then quieted and mumbled something about needing a vacation and how stressed he was. He then proceeded to grab some tool that he felt no need to tell me about. Glancing over to the nurse I half wondered where my twilight sleep was.
She just sat there missing my veins at least 5 times (Mind you, I’m extremely pale, I can trace my veins up my wrist and past my breasts with the utmost ease.). Without any warning the man began to work and the lady hadn’t even given me anything yet! This, contrary to what so many people have told me, hurt like nothing I have ever felt before. I’m accustomed to pain, as monthly my cycle hits me hard enough I have to take prescription painkillers if I want to function, but this was worse then even that! I wanted to scream and cry. However, I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction and I found putting my headphones on really helped.
At this point the nurse and Dr continued to make fun of me in a most unprofessional manner. They didn’t even give me the twilight sleep until the very end of the procedure, when he was pulling out. I made sure to share a few choice words with them before pulling up my own underwear and sitting myself in the wheelchair myself.
When I got to the recovery room there were a few other women in there as well. They all looked fine! I had severe cramping and I felt the nausea that I had become so acquainted with take me over again and spent some time vomiting into a yellow dish. Another nurse felt the need to make a smart comment about it. When I asked for some Tylenol like the other girls all received upon entering, she hideously remarked “Why? You’ll just throw it up anyway.” and left me there to deal with the cramps.
After some protesting from the nurses, I got up and stormed into the bathroom and got changed myself. I wasn’t even phased by the twilight sleep-which made me worry a bit. I wasn’t even dizzy or anything. The only thing that was really bad was the cramping at this point, which gradually dissipated in severity. The cramping came and went now and again throughout the course of my day. It never rose to the same level it had been when I was first released but still enough to be glad I didn’t have to do much other then cuddle to my love in a park. I even was able to stomach some french fries and Pepsi. The vomiting and nausea was completely gone! This was enough to cheer me up. I never knew how fast the effects of the pregnancy would go away.
All in all, I’m really glad I had gotten it done. Even though the procedure hurt extremely and I had to deal with some really rude people – I feel great knowing that I was able to go through something like that. I feel so relieved to have gotten it over with! I really have no regrets about doing what I had done. In a way, I feel my morals shine strongly now more than ever realizing how true to myself I was. I was glad I couldn’t be swayed. It also brought me so much closer to my fiancé then I through ever possible. We get through the harder times in our lives and when we are done with them, there is always a sense of pride left. I keep saying in my head ” I did it!” and all I can do is smile.
