I am a 25-year-old semi single mother of one. My story is different from any that I have read so I wanted to share it in case someone else is going through what I went through. I want to start off by saying that I am going through a divorce right now, we have been separated for about 3 1/2 months now. About 2 months after we separated I met Jake. He completely swept me off my feet; before I knew it a month later I was totally infatuated with him and vice versa. We had the perfect relationship. Although he hadn’t met my son yet (my choice) I knew that he was someone that I was going to be with for a long time. Everything between us was perfect. Then came my weak stomach, the stomach that couldn’t stand to eat any foods with any kind of seasoning. Being that my favorite food is Mexican food, I knew there was a problem when I couldn’t stomach it. I never said anything to Jake about it, or anyone else for that matter. I went and bought 3 pregnancy tests and to no surprise to me, they were all positive. Still, I did not tell Jake. I freaked out! I knew that this was something that I could not deal with right now. I know that I was very selfish but the timing was way off! I didn’t know what to do, at this time I had only known him for a month and a half! I knew that I wanted an abortion, but I didn’t want to tell him that in fear that he would want to keep it. I knew deep down inside that I absolutely COULD NOT keep this baby. So what did I do?? Exactly what I told myself I would never do. I made an appointment to get an abortion without telling anyone! My plan was to get this over with, without letting anyone find out. But I couldn’t do it; I had to tell my sister, which was the best decision I made. I could have never done this on my own and I don’t think that anyone should have to.
I made my initial appointment to see the doctor and get my exam, found out I was 5 weeks along! I guess we didn’t waste any time, huh? At this time we had only been together for 6 1/2 weeks. OOPS! Anyway, I had to wait another week before I could get the surgery, which was a very painful week. I wanted to tell Jake so bad, I just couldn’t do it. I thought about lying and telling him that I had a miscarriage, but I couldn’t do that either. So I didn’t, I never said anything.
I went into my appointment and just watched girl after girl come in and out, 75% of them already had kids just like me. And 90% of them were alone. I felt horrible, I wanted to hug them and tell them that it was ok. When I went into the room I had the absolute best nurse ever. She was fantastic, although I would much rather have had my sister in there with me. I had been given Valium about 30 minutes beforehand so I was very relaxed. The surgery was a little painful, felt like HUGE cramps. I did cry, I will be honest. The worst part was that I could hear EVERYTHING. That definitely affected me in a big way. 5 minutes later, it was over. I sat up and balled my eyes out. My emotions totally came over me, I felt like this was something way out of my character. The nurse held me and told me that most girls feel this way afterwards and that it was the medication. In the waiting room, I felt no pain at all whatsoever. Just a little dizzy, but I felt fine. 20 minutes later I was in the car going home. I got home and put a heating pad on my stomach, slept for 4 hours, got up and went to work. Which was something I probably shouldn’t have done.
That was 4 days ago and so far I am doing great. Jake and I are doing great. I had a great weekend, although I probably should have taken it a little easier. But I have a 5-year-old son and a full time job; there is no taking it easy. I will probably never tell Jake about this, but I am ok with that, it was a decision that I made and I know it was the right one. I want more children in the worst way. Right now just wasn’t the right time. I know that Jake and I will be ok and maybe in the future we will have kids, but for now I am content with one and I am not sorry for what I did.
