Jessica’s Story

The stories you will NEVER see or hear in the mainstream media are those of mothers who regret NOT having abortions. Because I’m childfree by choice and a compassionate good listener, I’ve heard those stories. Mothers trust me enough to confess the dark side of motherhood that they would never dare divulge to other mothers for the fear of being judged, drawn, and quartered. There are a number of mothers I’ve met who regret having had children against their better judgment when an abortion would have been a happier choice. They had to hear all this stuff like, “You’ll never forgive yourself if you have this abortion” or “You’ll love the child once it’s there!”
One story is particularly poignant. I had a friend-a fellow expatriate in Germany (Bavaria to be precise)-who had an unplanned pregnancy. In Catholic Bavaria she was required by law to go through this “counseling” session with some appointed Catholic bureaucrat who tried to talk her out of the abortion. Only if you went through this interview and persisted in your determination to abort, would you get the official permission to make an appointment at the clinic. Anyway the counselor and the woman’s boyfriend persuaded her to go ahead and have the baby. She got married to the child’s father. 14 years on, she is still haunted by her mistake. She feels trapped in a loveless marriage, in a country not her own. She doesn’t “blame” her kid for her choice, but feels a certain emptiness when she thinks what her life could have been if she had stuck to her guns and had that abortion.