I’ve had two abortions, and I’m not sorry at all. I’m sorry women have to jump through so many hoops to have access to safe abortions.
Shortly after my marriage ended, I was casually involved with a man for a few months. About three weeks after we ended things, I took a pregnancy test at the urging of a friend, even though I had no reason to believe I was pregnant. Honestly, it was almost treated as a dare, since I kept insisting I could not possibly be pregnant. The test said otherwise. I didn’t believe the test results, so I bought three more tests. All confirmed the first test’s results.
I looked up my options and decided I wanted a surgical abortion. I was terrified the medical abortion wouldn’t work and I’d have to get a surgical abortion anyway. I made my appointment, but the ultrasound indicated I was only about three weeks along (guess the last time was the charm), too early for a surgical abortion. They told me I would either have to come back or have a medical abortion. I decided I didn’t want to be pregnant any longer than I had to be, so agreed to the medical abortion. I took the first pill at the clinic and left with instructions to insert the remaining pills the following day. After inserting the remaining pills, I became very cold for a few hours (ended up sitting outside in the sun with long sleeves, pants, socks, and a blanket in the July sun!), but had no other side effects. Honestly, the bleeding and cramping were no worse than any other period. It really was a breeze.
After that, I became much more fanatical about birth control. I had been using condoms the first time, but wasn’t on any hormonal contraceptives. I knew better, but I wasn’t making the best decisions in my newly single state. After my first abortion, I went back to the same clinic for regular GYN visit and started new birth control.
Unfortunately, even with pills and condoms, I managed to become pregnant again. That time, the medical abortion was a bit more unpleasant (but still worth it). I took the pills orally this time and suffered some pretty bad gastrointestinal upset. I took the pills around 2pm, went to bed by 10pm, and woke up feeling fine. This may have been because I was farther along this time (around seven or eight weeks). I found out late (didn’t suspect anything because I was on the pill), and it took me a couple of weeks to come up with almost $500 for the medical abortion.
I’ve had two. I don’t intend to have any more, but I absolutely will if I get pregnant again. I have repeatedly begged my medical providers to let me get my tubes tied so it’s not an issue, but no one will go for it. They all claim I’m too young to get one without having any kids.
I’m not sorry I had abortions. I’m sorry the stigma is so great I am prevented from sharing my experience with everyone who needs to hear it. I have never had any regrets or second thoughts about my abortions. The only real difference for me between this and any other medical procedure was the feeling of relief I had afterward. You can have an abortion without ever feeling bad or guilty about it.
