Sep 032010

I had an abortion today, and I’m not sorry. I’m relieved actually. I am glad that this is all over and I can go back to being a normal 22-year-old woman.

My fiancé and I found out that we were pregnant on March 1st, 2007. I hadn’t gotten my period yet and was getting a little worried so I bought a pregnancy test and took it early that morning. It was probably about 5:45am and I was in the bathroom while my fiancé was still asleep. I took the test and no more than 30 seconds passed and I saw two pink lines. My first thoughts were “This cannot be real, I cannot be pregnant, this cannot happen to me.” I was instantly sick to my stomach and wanted to scream. I went back to the bedroom and crawled back into bed. Rob rolled over and tried to cuddle with me and I just laid there stiff and numb. I said to him “There were two lines on the test.” I started crying and told him I wasn’t ready to be a mother. “I don’t want to have a baby,” I said. He told me he wasn’t ready to be a father and we weren’t financially ready for a child. We had just bought a new house and I didn’t even have a job, there was no way we could do this.

I did a bit of research later that day and found a clinic fairly close to me where I believed I would be comfortable going. I went in on March 13th for a mandatory counseling session and got an ultrasound done. I was only 7 weeks pregnant. After I finished the paperwork I scheduled my abortion. My appointment was for March 20th; which is today.

My sister went with me. Everyone was super nice and very supportive. I never imagined that I would feel this comfortable going to get an abortion. I was actually quite cheerful in the waiting room. Finally it was my turn to go into the back. The nurse told me to undress from the waist down and asked if I had any questions before they got started. I told her no and quickly undressed and got on the table. When the doctor came in she explained to me that she was first going to do a pelvic exam to make sure everything was normal. Then she put the speculum inside of me and told me I was going to feel a couple of quick pinches and a little bit of pain. That was the pain medication. It really wasn’t bad at all. I’m not entirely sure what they all did, but the nurse was chitchatting with me the whole time to keep my mind off of the pain, which to be honest with you there was very little of. The pressure I felt was no worse than a Pap smear and the cramps were not even as bad as they are with my regular period. After what seemed like 30 seconds but was actually about 3 minutes, I was done. It was over. I got dressed and went to the recovery room where I had to sit for 30 minutes to make sure I was okay. They offered me juice and snacks and went to the waiting room to get my sister. We sat and talked for the thirty minutes and I went to the restroom to check my bleeding, which I was surprised there was none. My cramps at that point were very minimal and they gave me some Tylenol to ease what little pain I did have. After that I checked out and I drove home, and here I sit; typing my story for you to read and hopefully helping to make your decision to have an abortion a more positive experience.
,p> It’s not like I’m going to plaster a bumper sticker on my car saying “I just got an abortion today” but I’m not sorry nor am I ashamed. I’m glad that I had a choice to do what I felt was right. You should feel the same too. I want children, just not right now.

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