I’ll take “Scary Guestbook Entries” for $500, Alex

It’s not often that I get taken aback by a guestbook entry, but one that was entered yesterday has, for lack of a better term, flummoxed me. I haven’t deleted it, possibly because the stupidity has stunned me like a club over the head, but at the same time I wanted to immortalize it elsewhere in case I changed my mind. The entry is signed “Bethany”:

I completely agree that women should be able to choose if they want to have a baby. However, once she has that baby has been conceived, she shouldn’t have the right to murder him/her. When a woman has sex, she is saying that a baby is ok for her. If she doesn’t want a baby, she shouldn’t be having sex. Every woman has reproductive rights. Unfortunately, our goverment has also given them the right to murder as well.

My controlled webmaster response:

Congratulations, Bethany-your post is literally the first one that completely boggled my mind. So you’re saying that when you get married (if you’re not already), the only time you plan to have sex is when you want to conceive children? Boy, is your husband going to be thrilled with you when you let him know that! I am hoping beyond hope that you’re a teenager, because only a teenager could come out with that crap with a straight face. What a completely ludicrous-not to mention judgmental-viewpoint. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, seriously. That’s just SAD.

What I really wanted to say:

Oh my God, are you fucking KIDDING ME?!?!?! What sort of twisted sex-hating fascist put this idea in your head?!? I think my head’s going to explode! That post just made the baby Jesus cry! OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!

Welcome to America’s future, everybody. If you want me, I’ll be under my bed in the fetal position, thanks.