I lost my virginity and became pregnant on the same night, two weeks after my eighteenth birthday. I had waited until I turned eighteen to have sex and had read many books on sexuality, and also had attended sexual education class. I understood how women became pregnant. I even owned the book Our Bodies, Ourselves. At the time I felt I was ready and more prepared than most of my peers to venture into sex.
The guy I lost my virginity to was six years older than me and we had been dating for about a month. Jimmy was gorgeous and confident and I was very attracted to him and anxious to experience intercourse. I remember feeling nervous, wondering if I would enjoy it, if he would be considerate. I hadn’t told him before that night that I was a virgin and when I did I hoped he would feel it was as special as I felt it was. My mother was away on a trip so we had my house to ourselves. I made sure there were condoms available as I was not on the pill yet. I was even ready for the classic argument guys give when they don’t want to use a condom. What I wasn’t prepared for was his telling me he was sterile. Jimmy told me had been in a long-term relationship with a woman and they had tried to have a baby and couldn’t. He told me she left him and she started seeing someone else and became pregnant almost immediately. So he was sure he was sterile, and although it gave me pause he seemed sincere. So I went ahead and did it. We had sex a few more times, but these times I used a contraceptive suppository, which was one of the only other over-the-counter alternatives at the time.
A couple of weeks after the big event I was home and I had urinated more than usual and thought that was a little strange. Right away, it hit me like lightning and I knew I pregnant. I went to the clinic and had the test and found out that I definitely was pregnant. There was no doubt in my mind that I did not want a baby. Growing up I always knew I probably wouldn’t have children. I never had that longing for a baby.
First, I told my mother. Before I even spoke she looked at me and said, “You did it, didn’t you. You’re pregnant!” It was bizarre. She begged me to keep it, saying she would raise it. There was no way I would want that. I knew right away I wanted to have an abortion. So, I talked to Jimmy and told him that he was not sterile and should stop telling women that he is. He also said he wanted me to keep it and he would be involved (we had since broken up). I believe to this day he just said that because he didn’t want to contribute money for the abortion.
Thankfully my mother helped me pay for it and took me to have it done. I have never for one minute regretted that decision. My sister had a baby at eighteen and her life has been so difficult. Having a baby you’re not ready for or with a guy who doesn’t really want to be a parent is unfair to you and your child. My life has had its tough moments, but I know I did the right thing for me.
