Erin’s Story

I had an abortion 04/30/2009. I wouldn’t say it was the proudest moment in my life, but it’s not one I’m especially ashamed about. I did what I thought I had to do, and it was the right decision for me. I thought I would share my story because I wanted to give back. I read this site like it was the bible before I went to the clinic, and it really helped me to sort out of my feelings.

I’m 28 and unmarried. I was dating the guy who got me pregnant for a few months but we were not boyfriend/girlfriend. He already had 5 kids, and I had none. The night I got pregnant was the last night we were together. I knew I was pregnant 2 weeks into my pregnancy. I know my body and I knew something wasn’t right. My pregnancy tests were negative of course, but I still just had the feeling I was. I told my sister and she told me to call Planned Parenthood right away since we live in a big city and there is only one abortion clinic. I lied about how many months along I thought I was and scheduled an appointment for 2 weeks later. My third week pregnant was when the pregnancy tests started faintly showing two lines. I did call to tell the guy I had been dating that I was pregnant and mentioned that I might have an abortion and he said good because he didn’t want anymore kids. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. I had been questioning what I would do, but now that I knew I would be raising a kid on my own I knew I couldn’t keep it.

When I was four weeks pregnant my sister and I went to Planned Parenthood for my first exam. I had 5 minutes of counseling to make sure the abortion was really my choice, and then I was sent upstairs for an ultrasound. Since I was so early in my pregnancy there was nothing to see on the scan and I was given to option of taking the pill for my abortion, and I thought that would be the best for me since it was something private and I could do at home. We have a one week waiting period here so I was scheduled to come in the following week to have another ultrasound and to get my pills. For the next week I lived on the computer reading this site with mixed emotions. One minute I would be bawling my eyes out, and the next I would steel myself to the fact that I really didn’t want a baby right now.

The following week (I was 5 weeks pregnant) I drove myself to the clinic and had my ultrasound and this time there was a yolk I think they called it. The doctor pointed out the spot inside of it that she thought was where the baby might start to develop. Even though I knew I was doing the right thing I couldn’t stop staring at that tiny little spot. She took me into a room and brought me a little “goodie bag” which contained a script for Vicodin and a bottle of pills I would take in 24 hours that would make me bleed and pass the baby. While I was there she dispensed the actual abortion pill to me that would stop my hormones and end the pregnancy.

The next 24 hours passed and I felt fine. I had read a lot of stories on here with mixed reviews on the pill. Some said it hurt like hell and others said they barely noticed anything. Since I was doing so good I didn’t think twice about taking the new pills. I did like I was instructed and placed 2 pills on each side of my mouth and let them melt away. I sat around for hours with no bleeding and feeling good. I thought I was super lucky! I laid down that night at 10 p.m. to go to bed wearing a huge pad that felt like a diaper just in case (hahaha). I woke up 2 hours later with the most insane cramping I’d ever felt in my life. You’re basically having a miscarriage when you take the pill, and I’d never had one before but if I’d ever imagined what one felt like before, well this was it. I spent the next 4 hours in the bathroom throwing up and sitting on the toilet bleeding into it heavily. I’m not trying to scare anyone, but I’m just being honest about my experience. Those were probably the worst 4 hours in my life (pain wise), but after those passed I was able to crawl into bed with a heating pad and fall asleep. The next day I felt fine. I was tired from being up all night, and bleeding still but the cramping had gone away. I think it was a week later that I had to go back to Planned Parenthood to make sure the pregnancy had been terminated completely and then everything was done.

It’s almost a year later, and honestly I still think about it a lot. I wonder what it might have been like if I’d kept the baby and if I was a mother right now, but I never second guess myself. I did the right thing for me, and I know one day when the time is right I’ll have a baby and I will love him/her. I’m not sorry I had an abortion and I don’t feel bad or regret what I did.