My name is Elizabeth. I am thirty four years old, and I had my second abortion two and a half weeks ago. Actually, and I feel very stupid, the two abortions happened in the same year. They were very different experiences both emotionally and physically. Because of this I urge all women who are pregnant to make their decision and carry it out as soon as they can. My abortion at four weeks was a much easier procedure than my abortion at nine-eleven weeks. In fact, I had stopped bleeding and went swimming the next day after my first abortion. My sister told me “Nobody says that abortion is relatively painless and easy.” Physically abortion was much easier than pregnancy and birth. If you discount emotional instability induced by high hormonal levels which can make pregnancy a blue time, abortion is much harder emotionally.
I didn’t even have any pain medication for my first abortion. I had forgotten to take the doctor-recommended Advil, and could not take Valium because I would be driving myself home. Why did I have my first unplanned pregnancy? I think it was because my birth control pills made me so nauseous I hated to take them. I also think that having A.D.D. made it hard for me to keep up with daily responsibilities and I forget to notice daily details when I get stressed.
My second unplanned pregnancy occurred due to a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. After learning that I had this condition, and reading one of the leading symptoms was infertility I concluded that this syndrome, and the fact that I would not be having sex due to a divorce would be enough birth control. The night before I took my husband to court to force him to move out of the house and establish child support I had unprotected sex. It sounds funny, but I immediately knew I was pregnant.
My obstetrician is a very nice man. He was patient with me the two times I changed my mind. I wavered between keeping this baby and having an abortion. I still have some down times, some crying jags, and a lot of emotional disequilibrium. This baby would not have been wanted. It would have chained me to a marriage that had been quietly dissolving for more than ten years.
My ex partner is a compulsive gambler. Two months before I got pregnant he took more than five hundred dollars from his job and almost got fired. He did not love me enough to stop gambling, to spend time with the two children we had, or to refrain from insulting me, even when I was pregnant. Intellectually abortion was the only decision that I realistically had.
I feel a peace that my body and my future are my own. I feel a peace that after fifteen years of marriage I will not be held to appearance standards and behavioral norms that I will never meet. I feel peace that when and if I ever get pregnant and have another child it will be with someone who loves me, wants to be around me, and will be active in parenting. My ex just thought that sex and biology influenced any and all gender roles. He also thought that parenting was the job of the woman. Abortion is a fast procedure. I had my second daughter without the benefit of any pain medication. Compared to this abortion truly was painless. If you are in trouble and need to make one of the hardest most painful decisions of your life don’t let your family influence you. I can barely stand to talk to any of my friends or family members now. Rely on your own intuition and get the procedure done as soon into your pregnancy as possible. It is much easier physically and emotionally.
