I had an abortion nine years ago, and I do not regret it.
I was 22 years old and was in the first week of my first “real” job after college when I found out I was pregnant by my long-term boyfriend. In the following two weeks, my boyfriend let me know he had cheated on me with another girl and wanted to break off the relationship with me, and a close family member of mine died. I had no friends and no family in the new town where I’d just moved for my job. The pregnancy was unexpected and unwanted.
During those two weeks, I continued going to work each day, attended my family member’s funeral, cried several times a day at work in the women’s bathroom, and made an appointment with an abortion clinic. The staff at the clinic was amazing. They trusted me to make my own decision and did not condescend or pressure me in the least. I had one pre-procedure appointment, and I scheduled a second appointment to terminate the pregnancy. By the time of the appointment, I was about 6 weeks pregnant.
The day of the abortion came, and I showed up with a friend who was kind enough to drive to my town to be with me. All I remember is being told to “empty my bladder” in the restroom, save some in a cup, and put on one of those flimsy hospital gowns. I don’t remember much about the procedure itself once they gave me the anesthetic. The main thing I recall is how extremely kind both the doctor and nurse were and that I could hear them talking with my friend during the procedure. I don’t remember feeling any pain whatsoever. It was also extremely quick. At the end, the doctor actually said, “Did we get it?” which indicated to me that the embryo must have been so small my doctor couldn’t even tell if he’d removed it.
There is only one word to describe how I felt when I sat up after the abortion: RELIEF. After the immense relief came a sense of elation, like I suddenly knew everything was going to be okay. This was an empowering moment for me. I wish I could share it with more people, but it’s so politically incorrect to say you felt “elated” after an abortion. After the abortion, I was able to properly grieve for my lost family member, reestablish a more mature relationship with my boyfriend, and focus on my new job and my future career goals. Everything turned around for me personally and professionally. I felt happier, stronger, wiser, more focused, and more in control than I’d ever felt my entire life.
Today I am married (to the boyfriend!) and we are planning to get pregnant with our first child this year! We are extremely happy and feel like we will be the wise, mature parents that we could never have been nine years ago. My story actually has a fairytale ending. I wish more young women out there knew that having an abortion does not mean you will not have a happy, fulfilling, amazing life with your future husband and future children. In fact, the abortion just might put you on that path.
