Just over one year ago, on May 19, 2003, I had an abortion. I was 20 years old, a sophomore in college, and in a long-term relationship. Although my boyfriend and I had been dating for over 3 years, we were totally unprepared to handle a pregnancy, both financially and emotionally.
I pretty much knew that I was pregnant right after we had sex. I had a horrible feeling, knowing that we were stupid for not using a condom and that I was probably ovulating. The next few weeks were torture. As soon as I missed my period, I began learning all that I could about abortion. I always felt extremely calm after each “educational session.” I felt that I had some degree of control over my body and life.
When I finally took the pregnancy test, I wasn’t excited at all to see the positive result. In fact, I felt that the pregnancy was wrong, that it was unnatural and foreign. I knew that a surgical abortion was the only way to combat these negative feelings. My intuition was very strong, and so I went to great lengths to get an abortion. I was unemployed, and so I had the $300 abortion charged to a credit card. I didn’t have my driver’s license. The day I found out I was pregnant, I talked my parents into buying me a cheap car. The day before my abortion, I passed my driver’s test, just so I could have transportation to the clinic without my parents finding out. Even being a Christian, I knew that this was the right decision for me.
At seven weeks and five days of pregnancy, I went in for an abortion with my boyfriend at my side. The day of the abortion was scary, but relieving!! The procedure was quite uncomfortable, especially the numbing of my cervix. It’s a feeling I hope to never have again, that’s for sure! However, afterwards, I felt like I could finally breathe. That everything was gonna be OK. I wasn’t sad about the procedure, but I was sentimental. I named my baby Cameron, and I plan to commemorate Cameron and my abortion for the rest of my life. I have no regrets, and I don’t believe that I ever will.
