First I would like to say Thank You to all the women who have shared their stories….
I found out I was pregnant on June 18, 2006. I have been an abortion and women’s rights advocate for as long as I can remember- but I never thought I would be faced with such an agonizing choice. Being 26, educated, and employed, I struggled with the thought that becoming pregnant happened for a reason, that I had the means to be a good mother and a provider. Not to mention it has been my dream to be a mother for as long as I can remember.
But, there was one huge piece missing in the equation, the father- he in no way was a suitable man to bring a child into this world with. No job, no dignity, no intelligence. I grew up as daddy’s little girl; I want my children to at least have the chance to have a wonderful father in their lives.
So the decision was made- it was not the right time. He was not the right person, and it was more unfair to the unborn child. So I began my research- where will I go? Will I be able to go through with it? Will it hurt? Can I still have children? All of these questions and nowhere to find the answers—only pitiful attempts from the antis at scaring and guilting me out of it.
My greatest fear was that I would get to the doctor’s and just break down, freak out, and not be able to fulfill my decision. Then I stumbled upon this website- and was reassured that I wouldn’t live the rest of my life in guilt and regret….because it was simply the right choice for me.
On July 11, 2006 my sister took me-everything went very smoothly- no pain, little fear, and even relief. I did pay the extra $200 to be put to sleep- I had to drive an hour away from my house to find a place that offered that service. Since then I’ve been waiting for the sadness and guilt to set in. But it hasn’t. Maybe someday it will, but that’s okay because I will always carry with me the certainty that I did the right thing. Although it was one of the scariest times in my life it was also the moment when I realized that we control our fate, and we as women have the right to live as we choose. A mistake should not ruin your life forever. It is simply a speed bump that teaches you to slow down and embrace life for all its ups and downs.
Any women reading this while making a decision, my heart goes out to you. Follow your instincts…you know what is best for you- do not let all of the stigmas and noise take your choice away from you.
I am not sorry, I am grateful.
