You should subscribe to the I’m Not Sorry RSS feed and follow us on Twitter. Thanks for visiting!

My name is Maureen, and I had an amnio-infusion abortion circa 1970. I was 23 years old, as happily unmarried as I am today, and the sole support of myself. A male friend’s girlfriend had asked to borrow a few of my birth control pills, promising to give them back when she got hers. I should have known better, as she was decidedly flakey at the best of times. Because I “spotted”, I was not aware I was pregnant for a couple of months. Then I went to an old family doctor who, without tests, assured me I wasn’t pregnant. Soon my jeans wouldn’t button, and I went to the Los Angeles Free Clinic, where they assured me I was!

In those days, to secure a legal abortion, a woman had to see a psychiatrist who would attest to the fact that carrying the pregnancy to term might endanger the woman’s life (potential for suicide). In essence, a woman had to be diagnosed as terminally depressed and a danger to herself. In addition, a panel of at least three doctors had to medically rule on the need for the abortion. I was steered to both a sympathetic psychiatrist (I believe the form letter was probably pre-written and the name plugged in), and to the Los Angeles County Hospital committee to file my request for an abortion. The panel met once and somehow my request fell through the cracks. The next time they met (a week or three later), they approved my request. Finally, I was given an appointment with a doctor there. By now, so much time had passed in trying to obtain a lega, safe abortion, I was no longer eligible for an extraction, but rather had to have an amnio-infusion.

My caseworker at The Free Clinic warned me that I might face some hostility from members of the nursing or other staff at the hospital, some of whom had religious objections to abortion. However, I received nothing but good care and support at L.A. County General Hospital. In fact the only negative comment I heard was from a nurse who called me a “dud” when my labor contractions stopped for a while after they gave me a Darvon for pain after several hours.

A needle with saline solution had been introduced into the placenta through my abdomen. By the next day I had gone into labor and the products of conception had been expelled (and were infected, as it turns out). Later, I was sent home, with medication to dry up the milk.

I will be forever in the debt of all the doctors and nurses who provided me such care and support, and helped me abort this unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. As I believe a woman should have control of her own body, and that a baby is a creature defined by its ability to survive outside her body (and not a ball of cells or a fetus with the potential to someday become a baby), it would have been very unlikely that I would experience any remorse or guilt. It is 37 years later, and I am still grateful that I was able to have an abortion in a U.S. hospital, with state-of-the-art technology and trained staff.

For people like me, who do not believe in god or religious strictures, and who support scientific research and fact-based laws, the right to an abortion is very important. It is one of the ways that our fellow but differently-brain-mapped humans can demonstrate that they acknowledge that where they rely on faith, that is not an option for everyone, and our right to self-determination is as important as their right to self-subjugation to a creator.

I am 76 years old and had 4 illegal abortions in my twenties. I was and am intelligent and a fast learner. However, I was ignorant of how to protect myself from pregnancy, was convinced that a man had every right to call the shots in a sexual encounter (Who was I to tell him to stop? Hadn’t I let him kiss me?), and was extremely fertile (I became pregnant using a diaphragm). That combination still exists even though abortion is legal and, if a young woman fits that description, she should contact Planned Parenthood and find out what the deal is.

I was extremely lucky that I was able to locate a nurse skilled in giving abortions in NJ for three of my abortions (she never told me about contraception but did take me to a doctor for a D&C) and a woman in Harlem who was also skilled. One abortion was done when I was 5 months pregnant. Another was done at the behest of my then-husband who informed me he didn’t want children. I was so totally relieved after each abortion and abstained from sex for months after each one. It took a friend of mine to clue me about Planned Parenthood where I was fitted for a diaphragm.

I have never had a moment’s remorse about any of these abortions. I had good reasons for each one. I still believe that raising children is an enormous responsibility that I am glad I postponed until I was mature and with a man I loved who also loved me. It was hard enough to raise children under these circumstances. I can’t imagine what I would have done if I had been forced to have 4 children!

What I really suffered from was my ignorance, passivity (the inability to say “no”) and my fertility. I think women still have that problem even though there is supposedly sex ed in school and abortion is legal. We are brought up to be obedient and to keep our sexuality repressed. It took me until I was 55 to truly enjoy intercourse with a male lover. I never thought of exploring my sexuality with a woman and only learned about oral sex with my boyfriend in my 60s.

It is so important to feel empowered in a sexual relationship and not be worried about one’s performance and “what will he think?” I urge anyone who is in this boat to free yourself from the attitude because who you are sexually is a large part of your life. Explore your sexuality with someone you completely trust who loves you.

I’m 66 years old now, and I have always loved children and wanted a big family. I have 4 sons and an adopted daughter.

When my first two children were 5 and 7, and my adopted daughter was 3, I neglected to use my diaphragm one night and became pregnant. I wasn’t planning to be pregnant. I was running my own retail business and my life was really full. I felt that babies should be wanted, and I already had my quota.

This was prior to Roe V. Wade, but abortion was legal in New York, so my father, who was a New York resident, arranged the abortion for me.

I’m certainly not sorry. I never looked back on the event with sorrow. Four years later I was ready for another child and we had another son. After he was born I really wanted another baby, but I was in my late 30’s and it took longer to get pregnant. Finally it happened, but I miscarried. I had my 5th child when I was 42.

Now I have 5 grandchildren. I’m not sorry.

In 1966 I was 31, married with 2 children (born 1964 and 1965) and 3 months pregnant with my third child in as many years. I had an IUD in place. I was also nursing!

I knew I could not have another child so soon. I was physically and mentally exhausted. I was working, doing family work, 13 hours a day, seven days a week. My husband was not one who pitched in, changing diapers, doing laundry etc. We were an “old fashioned” couple brought up in the ethos of the fifties that focused on being in service to your husband, whose needs trumped everyone’s.

My doctor was sympathetic and with his aid I located an abortionist in Nevada. He, however, was “on vacation”. The next step was Tijuana. I had the support of my husband and we went, leaving the other 2 kids with a baby sitter. The abortionist was kind. I sobbed uncontrollably as soon as we were back on U.S. soil. It was one of the most difficult and best decisions of my life.

It is difficult for me now to imagine what I was willing to put on the line: my life. I was risking everything. If I died, my two children would have been without me. My husband would have remarried. My parents would have blamed him. The entangled consequences are painful to picture.

Indeed, the Right is making up a syndrome, another desperate attempt to void Roe vs Wade. I would never want my daughters-in-law to have to face the balance that my husband and I faced. And why should they? In all cultures, in all history and pre-history women have had to make the decision whether they could provide for yet another being. They made it alone, they carried it out alone in the interest of the survival of those who were living. For the Right to reserve the right to massacre others in war and at the same time blithely accuse women of murder is beyond ludicrous.