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August 18th was the day I had my abortion.

I had been feeling a bit funny for weeks, my breasts were sore and I was puking every single day for about 4 weeks before I actually put two and two together and thought “Oh no, where’s my period gone”. I took the dreaded pregnancy test and it came back positive. I got angry, upset and called the Doctor about 2 minutes after I’d had the horrendous result.

After the initial appointment with my GP and arranging my appointment at the hospital all I could think about was how I couldn’t wait to have the abortion and have it all over and done with. Being pregnant has to be one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.

I went to the hospital for my first appointment with the gynaecologist, she did an internal exam to try and gauge how far along I was and she took a couple of swabs as well. She guessed that I was about 8 weeks pregnant and that I’d have the medical abortion rather than a surgical abortion but that it was quite hard to tell how far along I was as I have a tipped uterus.

Two days later I had my second appointment at the hospital and my internal ultrasound, they worked out that I was 11 weeks pregnant, and would be having a surgical abortion, they turned the screen away so that I couldn’t see the fetus. I also had a blood sample taken so they knew my blood type. I had my meeting with the gynaecology nurse specialist who handed me a couple of leaflets about the surgical abortion I was going to have and she also talked through it with me and made sure that this is what I wanted to do, that this was the only viable option for me and that I understood that it was a surgical operation and there were risks involved.

Once she was happy that I understood what was going to happen and both doctors had agreed that it was the best decision for me to terminate the pregnancy they were able to go ahead with my termination. I went back to the hospital into the gynaecology outpatients ward 4 days later and waited in reception, and waited, and waited. I was, unfortunately, on my own, because even though my boyfriend supported my choice he had to go to work and couldn’t make it to the hospital until later. They took me into a ward, pulled the curtains around my bed and sat me on my own. I think that had to be the most horrible thing about the termination, sitting in that room on my own. The nurse came in to see me and asked me if I was okay, if I needed anything and if I was allergic to anything – it turns out that I was allergic to the antibiotic pill that they were going to give me to curb any risk of infection after the abortion but other than that it was fine, I was given a different antibiotic and a tablet to soften my vagina to make it easier for the termination to go ahead and they explained that it would be done under a general anaesthetic.

After about 2 hours my boyfriend appeared to hold my hand and help me through it, the nurse came in about 20 minutes later and gave me my gown and then about 10 minutes after that the doctor came in and took my down to the theatre waiting room. The doctors were all really professional and understanding and the nurses were really kind and helpful. I had to sign the papers to say that I wanted to go ahead with the termination and then they attached all the monitors to me and then they put the canula into my hand – that had to be the most painful part, I’m petrified of needles and I couldn’t look, my heart rate rocketed and the poor doctor thought I was going to pass out because my breathing had become so rapid. After they’d calmed me down, and everything was okay, I asked them to take care of me, which they said they would and I went under.

About half an hour later I woke up on the ward, and felt nothing but relief. I had a mild back ache and the anaesthetic had made me very tired but other than that I was fine, I had heavy bleeding, but it was just like a heavy period which lasted for about a week. To this day I do not regret my choice to abort my pregnancy, I know that there is no way that I’d have been able to support a child, I am thankful that I live in a country where abortions are safe and legal, and even though doctors can object on moral grounds to provide a termination for you, they have to point you in the direction of someone who will help you. I just hope that abortion remains safe and legal. I am not sorry.

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