Caroline’s Story

I got pregnant when I was 22. I am paranoid about pregnancy, and even thought I bled a bit when my period was due, I got a weird feeling when I started to feel queasy 2 weeks later and bought a batch of pregnancy tests. The result was quite a surprise for me since I was very careful about birth control.

I immediately started dialing doctors to try to get an appointment ASAP (in the country where I live, you can only get an abortion in the first weeks, and after you get confirmation of your pregnancy you need to secure a second appointment with the doctor, and THEN there is a mandatory 1 week delay before the procedure (sheesh, talk about treating women like complete irresponsible beings and not adults in their own right).

I was completely freaking out, wondering if I had one or two “false periods” and because of the long delays where I lived, it was a possibility that I would need to fly to another country to get rid of the parasite.

The man I was still living with at the time overheard the phone calls, which I did not try to conceal, and admitted that he had sabotaged my birth control pills because he wanted to overcome my resistance to pregnancy/dislike of motherhood and that I should not get an abortion because it would hurt his feelings.

No luck, sucker: I did not want to see my life go down the toilet. Not only did I secure an appointment, but I threw his sorry ass out of my flat in minutes after that.

Well, I did get the abortion, but the only hospital where I could get the procedure done had been infiltrated by anti choice personnel (their policy here is that since they cannot outlaw abortion (the vast majority support it strongly), they would make it as painful as possible. No anesthetic, but I did get asked if I wanted anesthesia for “the baby.” Um, no. I do not mind not getting one but anesthesia for a few cells that do not feels pain and are not in any way a living entity is a waste of funding (state hospital).

I got called a “bitch” and “not really a woman, etc. by the doctor after telling him that I did not feel remorse at all since I was doing nothing wrong. I was saving my own life from becoming a living hell. I afterwards filed formal complaints with the medical board; there was already a case against this guy and he lost his job and his right to practice. I and several other women involved in the case did not feel like it was nearly enough and we started a public awareness campaign in his neighborhood about him, his wife and their church. Last I heard they had had to move.

All this to say, even with the right to an abortion, I was and still am outraged about the shit women have to cope with just in order not to let a pregnancy ruin their lives. I never hid the fact that I had an abortion. Partners have asked me about it: I always answered that I had had one, would get another if my birth control failed again. It even helped me to save some of my precious time when a prospective partner told me that “he would not have allowed me to do so.” Oh, come on, get a grip. And bye bye.

I was not, and am not sorry.