Brandy’s Story

am 24 years old and I had an abortion when I was 15. I have never regretted this decision, not even for a moment. My story also proves that you can get pregnant your first time, and yes, it happens to good girls. I was a straight A, honor student, in student council and I never got in any trouble, ever. I was with my boyfriend for over a year and we decided to have sex for the first time on Valentine’s Day. We used condoms, but in retrospect, we most likely didn’t use them effectively. My period had always been very regular and when I turned up late I was panic-stricken. I waited for 2 weeks before I told anyone. When I finally told my boyfriend and he was EXCITED. He was overjoyed with the prospect of me being pregnant and immediately told his mother. She was very supportive and went to the store to buy me a pregnancy test. Twenty minutes later the results turned out positive. I cried non-stop. My parents would most definitely have kicked me out, (they had told me so earlier that year when my best friend became pregnant and they reaffirmed that years later when they found out about it) so my boyfriend’s mom told me I could live with them. I firmly told both her and my boyfriend that I was having an abortion. They were both against it. His mom said that she would adopt the baby and care for it, or she would help me put it up for adoption. I said no way. She then proceeded to tell me that I would have no help from her in this matter.

The next day after school I called up the clinic in town and made an appointment for after school the following day. The clinic however was too far to walk and about 10 miles out of the town, so I asked my boyfriend’s mother if she would take me. She said yes, only if I listened to the doctors about having it.

When I got to the clinic I was terrified. This would be my first time going to a gynecologist. They tested and examined me. They confirmed the worst. I was pregnant. I spoke with the doctor. I told her I wanted an abortion. She said that I should think about it for a week and come back to talk to her. She gave me tons of info on pregnancy and sent me on my way.

Meanwhile. I was constantly tired and sick. I was sick from the time I got up until 1 in the afternoon. Then it picked back up at 3 until I went to bed. I was always falling asleep in class. I went to bed at 7 or earlier every day. I could eat anything except for ranch potato chips and mashed potatoes. Everything else I threw up. I had to hide in my room and throw up in my closet in a bucket so my parents would hear.

I never told my parents. (I didn’t tell them until I was 21.) I only told my best friend. It was horrible. I went back to the clinic, I got info on abortion clinics in my area. Pennsylvania required parental consent, so I would need to go out of state to get mine done. The closest clinic was 45 minutes away. I called them and I was told that there were no open appointments for 2 months, and that I would have to wait until then. That would put me at the end of my first trimester. I was told it would cost $375. I didn’t have this money, or know where I would get it, but I made the appointment anyway.

I spent the next two months sick and worried. I tried anyway I could to find the money to pay for my abortion. I saved all my lunch money. I did kids’ homework for money, I cleaned houses, but I only had $186 when it was a month before the procedure. I also had no way to get there and no excuse to get out of my parents house for the whole day. I was walking home from school and stopped at my best friend’s house. Although I had only gained 2 lbs., when I walked in the door, her mother said, “You are pregnant.” I denied it. She insisted and finally I told her I was. She asked if my parents knew and I said no. We talked and she agreed that my parents would totally overreact. She offered to go with me to tell them and to help me in any way. She knew my parents very well, and understood how very strict they were and that my father was very abusive and I was scared for my well-being if I told them. I sat down and talked to her and told that I had made an appointment for an abortion and that I needed a ride there. She asked how I was paying for it and I told her I was saving. She told me not to worry and gave me the money right there for the procedure. I was so grateful. She also called up my boyfriend’s mom and got her to agree to take me to the appointment.

Everything was falling into place except that I needed to figure out how to get away from home that day. As I had stated before my parents were extremely strict and I was never allowed to go anywhere with out lots of notice and friends parents calling and never for longer than 2 hours. And they would drop me off and pick me up. It turns out that earlier in the year I had applied for a job as a camp counselor at the Y and they called me to come in for an interview and then to go to an all day training thing. Guess what day the training fell on … the same day as my appointment. There was my alibi. My parents said that I could go, but when I returned I needed to shampoo the living room carpet in return.

On the day of the abortion, my boyfriend and his mom picked me up and we drove in silence to the clinic and the city. It was a very long drive. When we got there it was early in the morning. I sat in the waiting room with lots of girls and women with their male counterparts. Some were crying, some were staring off into space and others were talking nervously. Me, I was excited. Soon I would be done with this whole thing and I could get back to my normal life. Five women were called back. Me included. I was the youngest. We were put in a room and asked to state our name, age and why we wanted to have an abortion. I told them, that besides being too young, that I never wanted to have children and that I didn’t like them. I remember one girl couldn’t answer-all she could do was cry. They then explained the procedure, had us fill out papers and gave us all plastic cups with our name on them, and told us to pee in them. The nurse then came back about twenty minutes later and gave us each a pill. It was a pain pill of some kind. After that we were told to go wait in the lobby until we were called.

The girl that kept crying was very unnerving. She was about twenty something and with her boyfriend. It was obvious that she didn’t want the abortion and her boyfriend was forcing her. He kept yelling at her and they kept arguing and she kept crying an then he left and told her to call someone else to pick her up and that if she didn’t do this not to bother coming home. I remember thinking that someone should punch that guy in the face. Of the five women/girls I was the last and the crying girl was before me. They called her in and then five minutes later called me in. I sat in a small gray waiting room by myself, with no windows. Right beside me was the room that the crying girl was in. I could still hear her crying. The nurse came in a said, “you can still change your mind sweetie” I said “no, I really want to do this” Then she left. I could hear it when they turned the suction device on in the other room and the crying girl then wailed in this loud voice like someone was killing her and the noise suddenly stopped. I think the doctor refused to do it. I never saw her or heard her ever again.

When I was called in, I was feeling very woozy. The nurse helped me get undressed and into a gown. I then was helped onto the table were the doctor proceeded to examine me. He then said, “You are four months pregnant. You’re in the second trimester and I was told you were in the 1st.” I was too doped to really respond except to ask what the price difference would be, He answered that it would be 450 instead of 375. Luckily I had brought the money with me that I had saved up, or I wouldn’t have been able to afford it.

When the doctor turned on the suction device. All I could think of was that I had to shampoo the carpet when I got home. And how I wished all this would hurry up so that I could get that done before my mom got home from work. Before I knew it… The doctor said it was all over and the nurse gave me my panties and giant pad and told me to lie still for a while. She then helped me to the bathroom to clean up. She told me to put my closes on and to come out to the recovery room when I was done. When I got to the recovery room the nurses there gave my Oreo cookies and asked if I wanted a drink. She was joking with another women who said that she needed a drink and then said how about you. I said that my parents wouldn’t approve, and she said that they probably wouldn’t approve of what I just did either, then everyone laughed. It was a very free and happy kind of feeling. I personally felt great. I was in very little pain and I wasn’t bleeding very badly. Everyone was very nice. After the drugs wore off a nurse went over my new birth control pills and told me to go ahead and take one right now. She explained how to take them and where to get them back home. She then explained that I wasn’t to have sex, or do physical activity for a 2 weeks or month. I can’t remember exactly. She said that I needed to go back for a check up at the local clinic in 2 weeks. I then left and went to the waiting room to meet my boyfriend and his mom. We drove home. I was very relieved. My boyfriend was very mad and didn’t talk to me. His mom dropped me off at the YMCA and we walked home. When I got home, my boyfriend helped me move the furniture and shampoo the carpets before my mom got home. In retrospect, I could have really hurt myself, but I wasn’t about to blow my cover or get in trouble. When my mom came home, I told her that I wasn’t going to take the job and that it had been a waste of time. She was none the wiser.

I had no complications. Everything went smoothly. My boyfriend broke up with me a year later and told everyone in school that I killed his baby. I didn’t care. I am still to this day happy as can be with my decision. I don’t feel guilty and I think it was the best choice. I still don’t want children, and I never will. I am now married to a wonderful man who feels the same way. I am still on the pill and my husband and I are considering having him get a vasectomy. And yes, if I got pregnant on accident, even though I am on the pill, I would have another abortion in a heart beat.