Since I was a young girl I always had one goal in life and that was to be a mother. I always pictured myself meeting a handsome wealthy man, getting married, and starting a family. So at 21 years old and with no husband getting pregnant was not in my plans. At 20 years old I became involved with a 28 year old guy who had two kids of his own at a very young age. I always viewed myself as mature for my age so it was nice dating someone who was established and didn’t like to party all the time like most guys my age. After things got serious we decided it would be best if I got on birth control. After 5 months on the pill we were finally comfortable and worry free about maybe getting pregnant.
Fast forward 3 more months. My boyfriend got contracted to work about 3,000 miles away. We continued our long distance relationship, seeing each other once a month and visiting back and forth. I stayed strict about taking my birth control. I went to my gyno for a “routine check up” and he asked me if there was any way I could be pregnant. “No way!” I said. I was sure of this because I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in over a month and I had a period a couple weeks prior (I was very faithful to him). He said “let’s just take a test to be sure”. After peeing in a cup and waiting for the results I got to thinking; I have been kind of nauseated in the morning and just chalked it up to waking up earlier then usual and not eating breakfast. His assistant came back in the room just as I was telling my mother that I have been feeling sort of sick lately (yes my mom was in the room because I’m a big baby) she said “The doctor wants to see you in the ultrasound room”. I instantly broke down. I was confused about having my period and I knew my boyfriend would have a lot of questions considering I was on birth control and had a period since the last time I seen him. The doctor told me that this can happen. I was on antibiotics the last time I went to visit him which can alter the effects of birth control, and having a period the first month of being pregnant can happen.
I went back and forth with the pros and cons of getting an abortion. I was never a pro- lifer I always felt that it was the women’s decision but, I couldn’t help but think about how great of a mother I would be. My mother wasn’t much of a help either she told me it was my decision and that she would support me in whatever choice I made. She even said if I decided to keep it she would stay home while I went to work, but she also reminded me of how much school I had left and how much money it would cost to raise a child. My boyfriend was not supportive at first he thought I was cheating on him and he kept telling me he couldn’t afford another child and he was so far away and wouldn’t be able help me raise the child. I finely decided that having an abortion would be best for me.
From setting the appointment to actually having the procedure everyone was so nice to me. The nurses were extremely compassionate. The only complaint I had was that it was a day long process for me. From the time I went in at 9 I didn’t actually get called back until 3ish to get the procedure done which gave me way too much time to think. The actual procedure was very quick and not that painful. I’ve had a biopsy done on my cervix before and I would compare it to that. It hurt for a second then it was over. Later that night I didn’t have any complications and eventually I moved on with my life.
I struggled with this decision for awhile but came to the conclusion that having an abortion didn’t make me a bad person. Being 23 now and finishing school I now know I made the right decision. I’ll have kids when I’m ready just like I’ve always planned. I’ll be a great mother when the time is right and the man is right!
