Sep 022010

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It has been almost two weeks since I had my second abortion. You may be thinking why not learn the first time? That’s what I asked myself on my way to the clinic. That is why I decided to share my story.

After the first abortion I had, I began very self-destructive behavior. I began stripping, drinking heavily, doing drugs, and sleeping with “everyone”. I was having unprotected sex, to top it all off. I even had sex with a man for money. Now I realize it was to numb my pain, and to punish myself.

After a year I became pregnant again. It was my second semester back to college after two years of hard work to get back into the social work program. (It has always been my dream to help others). I thought I was pregnant from a guy I had just met. He was young, eighteen and I am twenty-two. He had started to convince me to start being a better mother to my four-year-old and to stop doing drugs.

Reality hit. I lost all my “friends”, except for my one true friend, I almost got dropped from school because I was too sick to go, my little boyfriend suddenly wasn’t ready, and I couldn’t work. After two months, at my tenth week, and talking to my friend, the one that went with me the first time, I decided that no child deserved that kind of beginning.

While I as lying on down and they were performing the abortion, I imagined my angel, flying away like a bird being let out of a cage. I am not sorry, I am thankful that God, sent me an angel to give me life back, he gave me another chance, another chance to love the son I have, and another chance at helping others to pull themselves up and “LIVE”.

People try to make us women feel guilty. I did the first time. I could have killed myself. They use God, but remember what they say to hurt you. God knows you before you were conceived. He knows the mistakes you will make and he knows how to save you. God sent me an angel through pregnancy because he knew how to change me. Now I am me again, I have finally forgave myself and I am so happy, and not sorry. I am only sorry that I let others words control my life. People may put you down but always remember in your heart that life is what you make it, and most of all it is YOUR LIFE!!!

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