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It was just after my 22nd birthday and I already had an 18 month old son from a previous relationship. I wasn’t with his father anymore but I was with (what I thought to be) a great guy and he was supportive of me and a child that was not his. We went through a lot together. His mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer during our relationship and that was a big burden but a great test of our love and strength as a couple.
My boyfriend and I had a mutual friend who was beginning to date a girl. He felt awkward about it so to ease the pressure we suggested that we will accompany him on some dates with her to ease the tension. Through these dates my boyfriend and the other girl developed a relationship that soon led to the demise of my and my boyfriend’s relationship.
I was on birth control pills at the time but with the breakup occurring I started to falter on taking them regularly. It seemed like the last time him and I had sex (which was on the day of the breakup) I had managed to get pregnant after faltering on the birth control.
I found out approximately a month after our breakup that I was pregnant. This came as a shock to me as I was on birth control for the length of our relationship (which was over a year) and didn’t know what to do. It also came at the time I found out his mother had passed away from the cancer she was fighting and the girl my ex-boyfriend left me for called me to tell me the news and that I was not welcome at the funeral. This devastated me as it was as I was very close to his mother and was there for her and her family through the many stages of her diagnosis and treatments.
The decision was easy to make. With my ex suffering through the loss of his mother I didn’t want to drop this news on him as well. I had vowed to myself after I got pregnant with my son that I would never have another child unless I was ready and hopefully in a loving committed relationship because being a single mother is very difficult. I was also about to enter my fourth year of university. I had my son at the beginning of my second year of school so I knew how hard it was to go through school being a young single mom with one. I couldn’t do it with two children- especially in such a heavy year as was going to be my last.
I had a surgical abortion at a clinic about 30 minutes away from my city. I had asked my friend for a drive there (and to ultimately support me through the ordeal) which she did gladly. Within 10 minutes of being on the table the procedure was over and it hurt but no more than a regular contraction (for those who have had children) or a very strong cramp. Within an hour after the procedure I was able to leave the clinic. Not once was I judged or asked to justify my decision. I felt at peace with my decision instantly.
I’m now practicing as a Registered Nurse after graduating school in June of 2009. I’m still single but I’m living with my son and trying to raise him to the best of my current ability. I sometimes wonder what my son or daughter would have been like but those thoughts don’t linger. I’m content with my current life and would never change my decision given the chance.
