I found out I was pregnant on May 2, 2005; the day my niece was born. It was also Finals Week, one of the most stressful times of the year for me. I couldn’t stop crying for about six hours after I found out. I was at my boyfriend’s apartment, and I had to try and keep it down as much as possible, for fear of his roommates’ overhearing. I had a math final the next day, so I tried hard to sleep, but wasn’t successful. I just kept thinking that my worst nightmare had come true. On top of that, I felt guilty that ‘my worst nightmare’ was having a baby at that time. I come from an Mormon family, and am the youngest of six children. My mother is pro-choice, but thinks abortion is immoral and selfish. My two older sisters had both just had babies, and my brother’s wife was pregnant at the time I found out. I’ve never been so confused or so scared in my entire life.
I was on birth control at the time (the Patch), but got pregnant anyway. Later I was told that my body metabolized chemicals too quickly for normal birth control methods to be of use to me. I was really angry, but I wasn’t sure who I was angry at. Mostly myself, I guess.
Luckily, one of my older sisters (not one of the ones who is married) worked in the Health and Wellness Services center at my college, and helped me set up an abortion. She didn’t judge me, and she kept my secret. She was very loving and compassionate, and I don’t know what I would have done without her.
My boyfriend and I headed for the clinic the following Friday. It was Mother’s Day weekend, and I had told my mom that I was going to visit my boyfriend’s grandparents with him (who live in a different part of the state). We tried to joke around while we waited, after I had finished filling out the paperwork, but I was so scared, it was hard to concentrate on anything.
I had a medical abortion, and I feel sooooo lucky that I had that option. It wasn’t painful at all, and I was able to do it privately, with my boyfriend by my side. There were no protesters outside the clinic, as I had feared there might be. I wasn’t treated disrespectfully by anyone, and all the people who worked in the clinic were very nice, especially the doctor who did my ultrasound.
The experience actually brought my boyfriend and I closer together. We are best friends and we have seen each other through everything, including this. We have known each other for five years and have been dating for over a year, and we are planning on moving out together next summer. My boyfriend plans to attend med school, and he wants to be a pediatrician. I am planning to be a teacher. I am so happy I was able to make this choice, and I’m not sorry.
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