Hello, my name is Shannyn. I am a 26 year old mama of 3 children, two sons who are 7 and 4 and a daughter who just turned 1. I am married to my high school sweetheart, a man I've known since 8th grade. Here is my story.

Well, I've played this over and over in my head, but where does one begin ? As I said above, I am the mama of 3 children, they are my world and I love them more than life itself. One might think I had an abortion, prior to their births, but that's not the case. While I cherish my children and their lives, there was no way I could bring another child into the world, the physical pain I endure every day prevents me from leading an active life, never mind being pregnant and chasing all 3 of them.

My baby sister was about to get married. We were trying to get everything taken care of, having fun, planning, getting our dresses ready. I was late, but my entire cycle was off, from the spotting, to not bleeding, to 12 days of intermittent spotting. I knew there was something off and figured I was pregnant....eating weird foods and feeling funny, a friend and I joked about it being fate. My husband and I agreed that we were done having children, mainly because of my physical pain and fear of carrying another child.

I counted my days and realized I was already 3 days late for my period. I bought 2 pregnancy tests and took them, both negative. The next day, I started spotting and was BEYOND relieved. The spotting stopped. I bought 4 more tests and tested for 4 consecutive days, all negative. Finally, I waited 2 days, bought 4 more tests and tested again, sure enough the night one was negative....but the morning, BRIGHT pink line. I cried and tried to wipe the line off, I was in disbelief. I took the digital test and "PREGNANT" showed up.

The day of the first positive, was the day of my sister's rehearsal and dinner for her wedding. I e-mailed a picture to one of my best friends, I called my husband, my sister and my grandmother. I was a wreck, but HAD to hold it together as I was the maid of honor in my sister's wedding. I went to the rehearsal … I noticed a small room in the back of the church and went in. It was full of lit candles and a Jesus statue. I prayed for the strength to make the right decision.

I went back and forth initially, my thoughts on abortion were simple--it's a wonderful option for some, but not me. My husband talked it over several times and I cried that I couldn't have an abortion and he said "Whatever you think is best.” He thought it was in my best interest to not have another child, OUR best interest financially to not have another child. I think I hated him for a second....how could anyone say that ?

The reality is, I was hating HIM for stating MY feelings out loud. I didn't want to be pregnant, I didn't want to give birth, and I didn't want to sacrifice my physical well being any more than I have. I wanted treatment for my pain....I couldn't be pregnant.

One night, I sat here where I am now and broke down. I sent an e-mail out to my 2 best friends and explained that I simply could not have another child right now....maybe not ever. It was late and I didn't want to wake them, but I SO needed to talk. I poured my heart into those e-mails and prayed that they'd support me. I then got up, went outside, lit a cigarette and called my sister. She was BEYOND supportive, she was amazing....a godsend. She said "you need to do what YOU want for you. Be selfish for once, think of you for once. You ALWAYS put everyone in front of you, this one time, think of YOU, not anyone else. If anyone doesn't support you, they don't love you."

I hung up that night KNOWING that I was not going to have another child. I was confident in my decision and I was all ready to go. I called Planned Parenthood and made my appointment, called my husband, sister, friends, parents and Grandparents to let them know. They were all supportive and understanding. My grandmother told me that she prayed that I had the strength to not change my mind. She prayed to God, to give me strength to terminate the pregnancy. On December 10, 2006 at 7:45 am, my husband and I walked into the Planned Parenthood office and began our day. They were the most amazing people, very friendly and non-judgmental. They even spoke to my husband during the counseling session, they were great.

This day changed my life, the lives of my family and friends. This day was about ME doing what I needed to do for ME. I do not regret having an abortion and I do not feel badly. Initially I thought "does this make me a monster" I followed that up with "No, this makes me a Mom who wants to be around to raise her LIVING children."

This is my story, thank you for reading it.