I was a junior in college on an athletic scholarship when I discovered I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I went to a clinic to get a pregnancy test and to look into the possibility of an abortion. The lady who met with us got visibly emotional when we mentioned the idea of an abortion and proceeded to show us an obvious scare-tactic video, which we walked out on. Before making a decision I researched other women’s stories and read about both sides of the debate, including ways abortion can be interpreted from either side, even from Biblical scripture.

I had the abortion at around five weeks and felt immediate relief. My boyfriend was supportive and arranged it all. We decided together as we didn’t see any other options. We did not want to tell anyone else beforehand in order that we would be taking the sole responsibility for our decision. I told my parents two months later after my intuitive dad felt something was wrong. His first reaction was, “Are you going to be okay?” Telling my parents my story was truly cathartic for me. The unconditional love and support I had from my parents was a blessing, and I can still talk to them about it whenever I feel the need.

Shortly after the abortion I continued my plans to study in Europe for the summer after which I finished my last two years of my undergraduate degree and competing on scholarship. I went on to complete a PhD and continued competing throughout grad school as a professional athlete. For a long time I wondered if I’d have the desire to have children. But it has been 10 years and now at 31 years old and 4 months pregnant, I am very much looking forward to starting a family with my husband. I feel grateful for all the opportunities I’ve been given in the past ten years and as a result also feel very ready for to be a mom at this point in my life.

I don’t regret my decision to have an abortion. I do regret my irresponsible choice to not use birth control. I don’t believe I ever experienced any so called “post-abortion syndrome” (which is not a substantiated medical syndrome by the way). I’ve never wanted to seek out counseling or have a “healing memorial service” for my unborn child. At times I’ve thought there was something wrong with me since I’ve never experienced any serious post-traumatic stress syndrome (as many make you to believe is inevitable), guilt and self-hatred like so many people preach about. I feel I’m a better person for it and I’m more empathetic and tolerant of people. I’ve continued to love myself just the same, mistakes and all, follow my goals and live a very happy, productive life!

I think every woman deserves the right to make the best choice for themselves in light of their current situation, life goals, support network and personal feelings about abortion. I feel sorry for those who have felt guilt-ridden, turned to self-destructive behaviors and feel trapped in endless emotional suffering as a result of choosing to have an abortion. I believe you also have the choice to let it go, and move forward positively with your life!