I was in my third year of college and living with my boyfriend at the time. We had been dating for about a year and he was also in school getting his masters in teaching. We were poor college kids but had a good life together. All of a sudden I was exhausted all the time and sick to my stomach. I couldn't stand the smell of anything, didn't like to move, just laid on the couch whenever I wasn't in class. I had always had irregular periods, but missing my period combined with the sickness and tiredness made me suspicious. To this day, I'm not sure why I got pregnant as we had always used condoms.
So I went to a sex services place on my campus. It's the kind of place where they do free STD/AIDS/Pregnancy testing and they supply cheap birth control. I took the test and it came out positive. The counselor that I was meeting with was a graduate social services student and was very nice and knowledgeable. She explained all my options without giving me any pressure at all. We had already discussed that we were in no way prepared either emotionally or financially to have a child. I did not feel like I could handle bringing a child to term and giving it up. So I told her that I would like to get
an abortion. She made an appointment for me and told me what to expect.
I would like to note that this was in the middle of the "Spring of Life" and in the city that had recently had an abortion doctor murdered in his home. I was
nervous, not just about the procedure and how it would affect me, but also about the danger I felt in even going to a gyno who performs abortions. The woman reassured me that the worst that will happen will be some people standing across the street yelling things, but that some might be mean. I could handle that.
The morning arrived and we went. We had an early appointment so there was no one out front. It was just like any other doctor's office (I mean, he was a
regular gyno who just did abortions certain days of the week). There was a diverse group of women there, all in comfy clothes, everyone with a friend (you
weren't supposed to drive yourself home). They had me fill out a form and talk to a counselor, who was very nice and explained everything that would happen and
basically made sure that I was ok. She also gave me a Tylenol in advance. After that there was a bit more waiting, then they called me into the room. I was really nervous, but all the nurses were really sweet and understanding. They gave me a Valium IV and one nurse held my hand as one helped the doctor. The one who held my hand chatted with about school and in about 10 minutes it was done. It wasn't all that much different than a regular exam, just more people in the room and I got some Valium. They left the room and I lay there and felt very relaxed. After a little while I got dressed and met with the counselor again. She talked with me for a few minutes to make sure that I was ok and wrote me a prescription for birth control pills. No sex for two weeks, I might spot bleed for a few days, go home and rest.
When we left, the protestors were out. I was still very relaxed from the valium and ignored them (I think I laughed at them a little because they were yelling at me not to kill my baby as I was LEAVING--a little late, guys). My boyfiend, who is stridently pro-choice, wanted to hit them with the car but I convinced him not to. I got some Taco Bell and went home and napped. By the
next day I was feeling much better, wasn't bleeding, and was back to my normal self.
To this day I don't feel any remorse, I really don't feel like it changed me except every once in a while I remember and think how weird it would be to have a 5-year-old. And I think how I probably wouldn't have finished college and how I might still be with that guy who wasn't at all right for me. I think that it was the right decision and I'm happy that I had the choice.
   |