The abortion was pretty uneventful. I was really nervous because I hate pain and I didn't know what to expect. But, the nurses were very nice and even though I only actually saw the doctor during the actual abortion - which seemed like it was over in minutes - he told me what to expect every step of the way. This really helped me to feel more comfortable and less scared. The nurses were very comforting too and they kept telling me to breathe, to relax, and that it was almost over.

Once it was over, all I felt was relief. My husband and I had told friends and relatives that we were taking a mini-vacation and that we'd be away. Then, we turned off the phone, ignored the doorbell and spent about 48 hours watching old movies from the video store, eating pizza, and snuggling up on the couch (it was especially great to have my appetite back and no more morning sickness!). He even ran out for ice cream for me without complaining. It sounds a bit strange and demented, I know, but the abortion and recovery time turned out to be a great bonding experience that I feel strengthened our relationship.

And, even though he went right back to being pro-life (and he certainly never told anyone about the abortion), he never ever tried to make me feel bad for having the abortion. We didn't talk about it much afterward, but he stayed a loving and supportive husband for several years afterward. Even after we split up, I always have fond memories of how sweet he was to me during the few days after our abortion - even though he was so right-to-life in his political beliefs.

The second abortion was about ten years later. I got pregnant again while I was on the pill. By this point in my life I had decided that I just plain didn't want to have kids. Further, my lover at this time was a few years younger and stark raving TERRIFIED by the whole thing. He had definite hang ups about pregnancy outside of marriage (he was more afraid of being thought of as white trash than he was of being obligated to parent for 20 odd years), and he wanted me to abort to keep this "shameful" secret. This made me a little angry, but I had already decided to abort anyway - because I just didn't want to be pregnant or have a kid at the end of it all. I kept lover boy around during the abortion mostly because I had such fond memories of the previous experience of having a loving supportive husband during the procedure and recovery. Lover boy did pretty well considering that he was just a scared boy (23, but really immature) through it all. I spent a lot more time comforting him this time around - which went a long way toward curing my cradle-robbing tendencies.

The abortion itself was much more pleasant. I knew what to expect and that it wasn't that big a deal so I wasn't at all nervous. I didn't expect to suffer much pain and I didn't. The procedure was a little different (no valium this time), but not enough to cause me any real anxiety. The nurses didn't have to hold my hand this time. I only took one day off from work. Lover boy did do the obligate run out for ice cream, but I really felt he had failed to rise to the occasion and we split pretty amicably a month or so later. I think it was mostly because the whole abortion experience highlighted his immaturity (he couldn't ever get past how this would make him "look" to his friends). I wanted something different and this freed me up to find it - which I did.

I'm currently married to my second husband who is 10,000 times more compatible with me than anyone else I've ever met. We are both now adamant that we don't ever want kids - we just have other goals and pleasures in mind for ourselves. We have been pretty successful with condoms as our primary birth control (no problems in 8 years); no more pills for me. But, if we do ever need an abortion, I won't hesitate. Prevention is best and abortion is a serious medical procedure that I wouldn't encourage anyone to enter into lightly. But, it has saved my life twice. I can't even begin to count the cherished opportunities and experiences that I would have missed out on if I had chosen differently.