Three years ago at 33 years old, I was coming out of a painful divorce and had recently accepted a new job that required me to move from Atlanta, GA to Raleigh, NC. About a month before I moved, I met a wonderful man, who I fell for very quickly. We knew that I would be moving soon, so we tried to spend as much time together as possible. During my last 3 years of marriage, I had not been on the pill, and would use condoms on my fertile days. I just assumed this same method work in this new relationship. It was a very bad assumption.

I realized I was late because my period had always been regular my entire life. So with the movers expected the next day, I decided to take a pregnancy test and yes, I was pregnant. I immediately told my boyfriend and we talked and cried non-stop as we discussed our situation. How could this happen to us? We had only known each other for 2 months, and though we cared for each other, neither of us was ready for this. I had just left a marriage that ended with betrayal, heartache and pain. I was moving to a completely new state to start a new job. I was never and will never be so angry with myself for making such a terrible and irresponsible mistake.

At first we both felt that abortion was not an option, but then we began to do some research. I was very early (4 1/2 weeks), and the pregnancy was still just a mass of cells. With that timing, I could get a non-surgical abortion which involved me getting a shot and taking an additional medication that would result in a miscarriage. The more I read, the more that I knew that it was the right decision for me and our situation. We made an appointment and I got the shot that same day. I moved a few days later and actually took the second medication in my new home in Raleigh. The shot was easy, but the miscarriage was hard. It was like having a VERY painful period.

The entire procedure was difficult, and I am still disappointed with myself and sorry that I did not act responsibly. But, I am not sorry that I made the decision that I did. It was a hard lesson to learn, and I never had sex again without using a condom; regardless of what day it is in my cycle. Even though I’m not sorry, I will NEVER make the same mistake again.

Three years later, I am actually married to the same wonderful man. My boyfriend/husband supported me through the entire process and we became closer because of it. We continued to date long distance, and he decided to move to Raleigh to be with me. Because we didn’t rush into things, we were able to continue to allow our relationship to grow at a slow pace; we were able to spend more time learning who we both are; and I was able to learn to trust him with both my heart and my life. Most importantly, we both know that we are together because we truly love each other and are committed to building a life together.

One last update: After being married for 6 months, we decided we were ready to start a family and I was able to get pregnant on the first try. We could not be happier.