I had an abortion not too long ago, on December 30, 2004. It was my first pregnancy and I was terribly, terribly ill. I had a feeling I was pregnant, the typical pregnancy symptoms made me feel horrible. Then I came down with a bladder infection and was put on medication called Cipro, which made me vomit everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, until I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the hospital. That is when they took my blood and it came back as being positive for pregnancy. I was devastated. I was upset at myself, most of all. How could I have let this happen to myself? I had a feeling I was pregnant, but it was different hearing it from someone else. I drove home, and tried to call my boyfriend to let him know (he lives in a different city at the moment). I tried to keep the pregnancy a secret from my mom, but she knew. I have no idea how, she just knew. She was very supportive. I didn’t want my dad to know, him being Catholic, I wasn’t sure how he would take it. Me being 23, and still in school, I knew I would disappoint him. But, my mother felt he had a right to know, so she told him. He was pissed off for a bit, but I guess he realized what I was going through, and decided to put his pride aside. My mother drove me to the hospital where I had the procedure done. The night before my abortion, my nerves were so shot. I think I threw up about 11 times in 5 hours. That was a horrible experience. But, because I was approx. 10 weeks pregnant, it wasn’t that bad of a procedure. I had to have a shot of Rh Immune Globulin, because I am RH-. And I decided to have the anesthetic, because I wasn’t sure how much it would hurt. I felt nothing. After the procedure I felt relieved, but I was still scared and I bled for quite a few weeks.
I’m not sorry for what I had to do. I know that I am not ready for that kind of responsibility. And because of the medication I was on for the bladder infection, there was a possibility that the fetus was damaged, and I would feel horrible if I brought a baby into the world that had birth defects because of the meds. Sometimes we don’t do what people want us to do or expect us to do. I had to make the decision for myself. I sometimes wonder about the baby, but I do not dwell over the fact. For me, it was the right decision.
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