I was excited when I read in The Nation about your website. I had an abortion 14 years ago when I was 31. I’ve never regretted it and believe it was the best choice – for myself as well as the child. Although I was intending to divorce I had not and became pregnant by the man I was seeing. I was in a dreadful turmoil and change in my life; ending a marriage of 13 years. I was living with my sister. I had no job and couldn’t make a decision to save my life. When I became pregnant it snapped me out of my merry-go-round and I made THE decision. The father of the child was in his 40s. He had raised his child and really didn’t want any more. Although we have stayed together, at the time we had only being seeing each other for a few months. I could not bring a child into that situation – although many more are brought into worse.
I believe having and raising children is a privilege not a right. I was in no position to bring a child into this world and guarantee that it would not be a burden to society. But the strongest reason forf my decision was and is the fact that I have never been mother material. I’ll coo and snuggle a puppy or kitten, but have never felt the same need to do so with babies. Many people use to tell me that it would be different with my own. I thought it unlikely and knew that once born it was not a matter of giving it back. I guess too part of my decision was a firm belief that the world has too many people in it any way and all of the social decisions having a child should entail. And no, adoption was never an option. Go through 9 months of pure hell to give the child away! That’s cruel.
I have had occasion to thank God many, many times in the last 14 years that I live in a country and a time when I have the right to make choices about my own body. I don’t know the history of when abortion became such an “evil” thing; but I’m willing to bet it’s more recent than we would think. I’ve read enough about herbal folklore to believe abortion is something women have practiced amongst themselves for tens of thousands of years. We understand the necessity. I would also like to know why this has become such an issue. It is no one’s business – not a government not a church. It truly breaks my heart to think that conservative elements in this country could actually take away a woman’s right to make such a decision.
I would also urge anyone who is thinking about an abortion but being pressured by emotional means to follow your own heart. If you truly believe this is the best thing for you and the child, then contact Planned Parenthood. They are absolutely wonderful people. There, you will get no judgment. And if you know you are doing or have done the best thing then there is no need to feel guilty or depressed.
“….And God breathed the breath of life into him and man came to be a living soul….” Genesis 2:7
That is my reply to fundamentalists who consider abortion the same as murder (thou shalt not kill [unless it’s war]). Until we can live and breathe on our own, I truly believe that this matter is between God and Mother – no one else.
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