Although still legally married, I considered myself single and began dating. I met a wonderful man, and began seeing him seriously. This was when I made a very stupid decision: because we were both tested and disease-free, I decided that I would forgo birth control of any kind. In hindsight, I was still reeling from my marriage ending, and from my struggles with infertility. It was a very stupid thing to do, but I felt reassured by the fact that we had unprotected sex for several months with nothing happening. I was convinced that I was completely infertile, and therefore safe. I was wrong.

When my period didn't come on time one month, I didn't think much of it, because my period tended to be irregular. One morning, I decided to use one of my old, leftover pregnancy tests, just to reassure myself that, despite my absent period, I was not pregnant. When the test was positive, I started shaking. Over the next several days, my boyfriend and I talked for hours about what to do. Initially, I was very resistant to the idea of having an abortion after spending so much time trying to get pregnant before when I was married. After long, supportive discussions with my boyfriend, I realized that there was no way I could go through with the pregnancy. I was, after all, still legally married to another man; I was a year or two away from finishing my graduate degree; my boyfriend had reservations about being a father; we weren't poor, but neither of us had a lot of money; between us, we didn't have a car or even a decent-sized apartment. I considered adoption, briefly, but I soon acknowledged that I was just unwilling to put my body through the rigors and dangers of pregnancy and childbirth for someone else's child. Some people will think that's selfish, but I believe it was smart and self-aware.

The days between finding out I was pregnant and deciding to have an abortion were the most emotionally traumatic of my life. But once I had made the decision, I felt very at peace (despite my increasingly unpleasant pregnancy symptoms). Looking at my ultrasound picture was hard, but the fact that I could look and still know it was the right decision really helped me. The abortion itself was a relatively easy experience. I was, at that point, almost 11 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend came with me to the hospital, and was very supportive and caring. I was put under general anesthesia, the nurses and the surgeon were all supportive, and I experienced no pain and very little bleeding. My pregnancy symptoms went away within hours. I was almost giddy with relief in the days after my abortion. It was absolutely the right decision for me at the time.

After my abortion, I got a tattoo to commemorate what I had been through. I also got tattooed on what would have been my due date, and again on the first anniversary of my abortion. For me, this was a way to commemorate a rite of passage -- the ending of a pregnancy -- that is usually silent and unacknowledged. I am not ashamed of my abortion, and although I deeply regret my stupidity in failing to prevent my unwanted pregnancy, I am happy and proud that I made the right decision for myself. I'm so grateful that elective abortion is covered by my country's health services, and that it is legal, safe, and available. I wish it could be like that for every woman in the world who is faced with an unwanted pregnancy.