I have always imagined how I wanted my life to go. Meet a guy, fall in love, get married and have babies. What I didn’t imagine, however, was getting pregnant at 23, unmarried and having just broken up with my boyfriend.

I had become extremely moody and my breasts were very tender, something that does not normally happen to me during my periods, which, at that time were very irregular. I can be very paranoid, so the notion that I might be pregnant did occur to me, but I quickly dismissed it for a couple of reasons, one, because I had irregular periods and two, because of a thyroid condition, having trouble conceiving is common. It was only when the mere thought of food made me nauseous did I take the thoughts of being pregnant seriously. I confided in my childhood friend and coworker, E., who encouraged me to take a pregnancy test. I went to the store and bought one and decided to take the test at work, it immediately tested positive, I didn’t even have to wait the allotted 3 minutes. I was devastated. This was not in my plans, this was not how things were supposed to go. I could barely take care of myself financially, how was I supposed to support a child as well?

I was raised Catholic and made to feel guilty about everything I did, so abortion was extremely difficult to consider. I knew I couldn’t turn to my mother for support since she is uber religious and very judgmental, but I was working for her at the time and didn’t know how I would hide the fact that I was pregnant. I turned again to E., whose mother, I found out, used to work at the abortion clinic in my town. E.’s mother has always been like a second mother to me, so I knew I could talk to her. I called her and talked, cried and weighed my decisions with her help. She gave me advice without telling me what to do, I appreciated that. My mother was going out of town Thanksgiving weekend, which meant an extra day off work, it was actually perfect timing, I was able to go to the clinic that week. E. came with me for support. The whole process took about 4 hours. I checked in, got a blood and urine test to confirm my pregnancy, talked with a counselor, watched a short film on the procedure, then was taken to my room. I was awake the entire procedure, and while it was uncomfortable and I felt like I had to pee the entire time, which the nurse assured me was just from the pressure on my bladder, I wouldn’t say that it was painful, at least not more painful than period cramps. After the procedure I was taken to the recovery area, where I talked to the counselor again, given a prescription for birth control and allowed to take my time to recover. I bled for a few days afterwards, but nothing more than what a regular period would have been.

I haven’t struggled emotionally or psychologically from this experience. I never felt depressed, guilty, suicidal or any other negative emotion that some people may lead you to think happens. Truth be told, the entire thing was such a positive experience for me. I have thought about what would have happened or where I would be right now, had I not terminated the pregnancy. I have even thought about how old the child would be right now, but I have absolutely no regrets, no sadness, no guilt. I’m not sorry for my choice. I do feel sorry, however, for those women who have been made to believe that they are horrible human beings for wanting to choose abortion for themselves. It IS a choice, a choice that has allowed me to live my life as I have always imagined.