It was April. I was 18 years old working full time and making 9 dollars an hour. I had been seeing this guy for a little over a year. I was set to go to college the following September, and my boyfriend had just gotten his car reposessed, and kicked out of his apartment. Hindsight is always 20/20, but I'm still not sure what I was thinking. I knew I wasn't in love, and I should have been more careful. Instead, I realized I was late, and the pregnancy test affirmed my suspicions. I was pregnant. I was devastated, but stayed calm, and did some researching on the internet. I scheduled an appointment for an abortion a week later.
On my way into the appointment, there were protesters, pulling my arm
and
telling me not to walk into the death chamber. They had information
that could
help me. They played on my guilt, What they told me, almost worked,
but that
was their plan. I sat in the waiting room for 3 hours, It was an
eternity, and
it wasn't easy to go through...painful even. I drove home later that
day,
feeling relieved. I still felt like a horrible person, I thought I
didn't really
have an excuse to have an abortion, I probably could have married my
boyfriend
and raised a child.
However, that same boyfriend left me for his best friend the following
September, and he is now in jail for stealing cars and credit cards. I
definitely
could have married this guy and raised a child, but I doubt it would
have been
a healthy environment for me or my baby. Until today, although I knew
I made
the right decision for me, I always felt guilty when I saw a pro-life
bumper
sticker or when I hear politicians talking about women murdering their
unborn
babies. I am in college now, and I work full time, I help my mother
out with
her bills. She's still trying to get her life figured out from when
she had me
at that age. I've already accomplished more in my life than she was
ever
able to...she married a man she wasn't in love with, and dropped out of
art
school...she's over $40,000.00 in debt and had virtually no child
support from my
father, and only makes minimum wage.
I guess I always thought I was alone, but reading the stories on this
website
tells me I'm not. I know President Bush passed the Partial-Birth
Abortion
Act...and I'm scared. Although I was only 6 weeks pregnant at the time
of my
abortion, I can't help but feel that the passage of that Act will
affect women in
their first or second trimester of pregnancy. Had abortion not been
legal at
the time I made my decision, I could have given birth to a baby, and
subjected them to a life with a father in and out of prison, and a
mother who didn't
know how to help herself let alone her children. Or, if I was that
strong
willed, I would have seriously hurt myself going to an illegal doctor
or using some
other method.
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